This episode is from a private video I made for the Mastermind where I discuss why I believe this crazy situation is upon us and what the real solution involves. What does it mean to be a grown-up? How do WE show up as the calm and clear grown-ups? When it feels like the world is in desperate need of nurturing and healing, how can we aid that effort by getting back to the basics in our own homes? You don’t need to lead a protest to make a difference in the world. Just sayin…
As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!
About Randi Rubenstein
Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.
She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.
At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.
Randi’s Social Links
Links & Resources
Get my problem-solving one-sheet!
I created a simple one-sheet roadmap that will assist you in replacing the old school lectures with a tool that actually improves behavior through productive convos. Grab your problem-solving cheat sheet here: mastermindparenting.com/
For more help, reach out to me for support: http://Randirubenstein.com/discovery
Get my Free Guide!
This guide contains the condensed nuggets of my mind mastering parenting recipe. I’ve been developing my signature Mastermind Parenting method for over twenty years and I’m BEEEyond thrilled to share it with you. It has the power not to just improve the conversations and relationships in your family but digging in and doing this work will change your life. I can’t wait for you to get started so I can teach you everything! Head over here to get your copy https://mastermindparenting.com/freeguide
Apply for Free Coaching!
Thank you so much for listening and being an amazing mama that listens to parenting podcasts! I absolutely love connecting with other moms during the Real Coaching with Randi monthly segment and share their story. If you would like to get some free coaching on a future episode, head over to https://mastermindparenting.com/freecoaching/ and hit the Apply button.
Get my book!
Hear about my family history and the tools that have helped me replace old parenting patterns that simply don’t work with these puzzling kiddos. It’s my way of paying it forward as a human that wants our kids to experience a kinder and more generous world. Head over here to get your copy https://mastermindparenting.com/book
Thanks so much for listening to the Mastermind Parenting podcast, where we support the strong willed child and the families that love them!
If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the share button in the podcast player above.
Don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
Transcription
0 (0s):
You’re listening to the Mastermind Parenting Podcast with Randi Rubenstein episode one 11, my name’s Randi Rubenstein and welcome to the Mastermind Parenting Podcast where we believe when your thoughts grow the conversation’s in your home slow.
1 (19s):
So I highly suggest you guys do that tapping and umm, and be dumping out your brain guys like, like we’ve got to I I have anxiety too, literally. Like I’ve been waking up at like two o’clock in the morning and having to read. If you wake up at two o’clock in the morning, you guys don’t get on Facebook. I can’t tell you how many people have admitted to me that they go on their phone, their computer, they check their email. They get on Facebook. That all that does is give your brain and dopamine hit and keep you awake more. And like we’re just not going to be able to be patient and awesome and home school teachers and all of the things and take and see this time as truly an opportunity to get back to the basics.
1 (1m 12s):
I have it on my agenda today to watch the bill Gates, Ted talk with my kids. Somebody just told me that like, evidently I have read a little bit about it, that he did a Ted talk in 2015 where he pretty much predicted this. Hmm. So I’m going to watch that with the kids, but yeah, I, I saw somebody make a post about how they were like, I came home from work. I’m able to do that. Or I know I went for a walk at five cause I don’t have to, normally I’d be sitting in traffic for an hour and five coming home from work, but instead I’m home. So I took a walk and she’s like, I like the family is playing outside of you walking together or playing basketball.
1 (1m 58s):
Like all of the things she was like, I felt like it was 1978. Again, like it was a blast from the past. So I think people are seeing that we have in many ways lost touch with things and we can use this time differently and, and just see it differently. Just like what we do here in the Mastermind just to get back to the basics. But you gotta be, you gotta be taking care of you. So you get up in the middle of the night and you can’t sleep because you’re feeling anxious like me. You’ve got to like, you’ve got to take care of you. And this is the thing me and Scott are, are saying right now.
1 (2m 41s):
Cause I sort of feel like what’s happening. Of course I’m the visionary. So I’m always like, this is, this is really a metaphor for how long he, our world has gone. Like basically we’re a narcissistic and I don’t care what your political views are. I hate talking politics, but anyone in their right mind, I think can agree. We have a narcissistic lunatic running in the world and he’s about to probably get elected again because we can’t find a decent candidate to run against them.
1 (3m 22s):
Like it’s like right now, the shadow side of humanity is in charge. And I see it at the local level. I see it at the national level. I see it. I mean look, w who are we kidding? America is like the big sister of the world. So who’s in charge of America is pretty much in charge of the world in a lot of ways. And so I’m like, this is the shadow side of humanity. And, and so Scott and I keep saying like, where are the grownups? Like we have to be the grownups. How can we be the grownups? You know what we’re doing here, guys? I think this is a movement of learning how to be the grownups. And guess what being the up doesn’t mean.
1 (4m 2s):
We have to always be so serious being the grownups still can involve magic and fun and umm, and all kinds of awesome things. It just is about being an emotional grownup like healing. Those old hurts doing the responsible thing. Like not going on freaking social media at two o’clock in the morning. If your waking up cause your anxious with Corona virus. I mean, not that you haven’t coronavirus, but your anxious with what Corona virus is doing in terms of the world and the panic and all of that and managing your mind like that’s being the, grown-up managing your mind deciding to shift your thoughts, gamifying life, looking for the bigger picture.
1 (4m 53s):
Not allowing fear to run the show saying to yourself, sometimes CATA, lytic events have to happen pretty much all the time. Catalytic events have to happen to propel us, to adapt and change when things are comfy, we don’t, it’s like people don’t sign up for a parenting program. Even though we all wanna be the best parents, we can possibly be. Nobody signs up for it. Unless you’ve got a kid that the old stuff doesn’t work with and they dig their heels in and they’re like <inaudible> and they come to the table, they were born as little change agents.
1 (5m 36s):
And so the old method of threats and bribes and punishments and rewards and yelling and all of it, it doesn’t work. So you’re like fine. Whose this lady, what’s her name again? She’s like got a boys’ name. She got some money. She helped somebody else get results fine. And I’ll sign up for her program. And then your husband, like what, what are you signing up for a parenting class? Like doesn’t that just come naturally, who is to learn about parenting. And then he shames you and he does want to do it. And then eventually he starts to come around and maybe you’re watching this and you’re like, wait a minute. And nobody knew I didn’t shame anyone.
1 (6m 17s):
I came right around and I’m a dude. Then you are you’re in a evolved dude. I say Mastermind mom is in a few super cool daddies because men are raised differently than women. And so lots of men come to the table, Just with male privilege and you all don’t think that you have to dig in and learn something until you do. And then you realize, Oh wow, this is making my life better in every way. So I just, I just think that’s a, that’s a fact and I wish it weren’t and hopefully it won’t be for that long. But my point is, so we are here because we have change agent children and, and sometimes big things have to happen to propel us, to change, to propel us, to adapt and we can dig our heels in and we can fight it and we can resist it.
1 (7m 9s):
And we can let fear and panic run the show and guess what that is. That’s us not being in the grownups. I guess what are the kids need? They need is to be the grown-ups they need is to manage our mind’s. They need is to do things like write in our daily and my manager and learn this whole thought turned around. And when you can’t figure it out, do you like everyone who works privately with me is doing, and it takes some attempt at it right here on this thread. You can do that, right. Or today on our call, you can do that and I’ll help you and I’ll teach you how to do it. And why do we shift our focus? Why do we do thought turnarounds?
1 (7m 48s):
Because all of the spiritual leader is what they will tell you is that when you start to come towards enlightenment, what every human learns is that things fall away. Things fall away. We have to make room in our brains for the space that it takes to find that peace, to find that ability to manifest an abundant, beautiful life, even in times of panic and fear. So if y’all imagine your brain and is like an elevator, and let’s say, you’re waiting for the elevator and the elevator comes and it’s packed full of people and there’s no space for you to get in no space whatsoever for you to get in.
1 (8m 45s):
That is your brain. Your brain is a packed elevator with fearful sticky thoughts to go to the first that we read to the kids the other day stick, it’s a web of sticky thought. So when we dump in our brain and our daily mind manager, and we learn to shift our thoughts, we learned to change those sticky thoughts. So we make space and the elevator for new thoughts, we have it. We have to dissolve and get rid of the sticky thoughts and turn them around and find evidence to support a new and sticky thought that feels better to be able to get it right, the elevator.
1 (9m 30s):
So if your neighbor, we’re not doing these practices, if you’re just listening to me, if you’re not attempting to play with the words in to do the thought turnarounds into see this moment as an opportunity to get back to the basics, to get back to the grownups, being in charge, we’re getting, we’re becoming in charge. This is what we can do. We may feel a lot of us powerless on a national level and, and disheartened that, you know, I mean narcissistic lunatic, you know, literally I stunted emotionally stunted, probably 12 year old, who was raised with a raging father and a very dysfunctional childhood and never healed from that.
1 (10m 21s):
He’s now in a 70 something year old body determining lots of things. And our world is in a state of panic. And I just don’t know about you guys, but I sort of feel like part of me goes to that place, like a kid and defense zone who feels like where’s the grownups. I shouldn’t be the pack leader. Hear I shouldn’t have all of the power. This feels very unsafe and uncertain. I guess that’s how I’m feeling with that dude in charge of us. So right now on a lot, very small level, but important. We can all work on it on showing up as the grown ups in our household. And what is that gonna do to the collective?
1 (11m 3s):
What is that going to do to how we raise the level of consciousness and don’t give into the fear and panic and help our kids see this. Time where they remember. It’s like my kids, bro. Corey remembers Harvey here in Houston, that terrible, terrible flood where our friends lived with us for a week and we had to go save them in a canoe. And dad had a standup paddleboard that he was a blowing up and taking the dogs, looking for dry land to go to the bathroom. And we had lots of family meals and a cult, a whole collective grouping of people living in our home. Like that’s one of his favorite. My kids’ favorite memories are like, when we all hold up together for her, the hurricane for Ike was it I for, you know, Harvey.
1 (11m 51s):
And so when we see this as an opportunity for Connection and we focus on being the grownups and using this opportunity and, and, and, and not getting stuck in the stages of grief that involve the anger and depression and fear and panic and all of those low vibe, negative thoughts, we show up as the grownups for our kids. And then they ended up having positive memories and they grow. And we use this time. It’s like this time as like a, you know, like when people go for those retreats where their like silent for 10 days, or they go on a retreat to grow themselves like a personal development retreat, let’s consider this a personal development retreat for the whole family, for the whole world, for the whole world to get back to like that the shadow side, we cannot let the show, the shadow side of humanity, run the show anymore.
1 (12m 49s):
It’s time for the grownups to take back over. So who else is in? I want to hear from you guys on this thread. I want it, I want some accountability and you to be proud of and celebrate. I did my daily, my manager I’m moved my body today. I tapped whatever it is you’re doing. I did the listen to the Elizabeth Gilbert, little, a masterclass. It’s so good. I’ve listened to it twice. I want to listen to it again and again and again, it’s all about tapping into your big magic. And she has such a soothing, beautiful voice. Do that exercise, give yourself permission. I did that in my daily, my manager today, I gave myself permission to do lots of things.
1 (13m 32s):
What are you going to give yourself permission to do? What are you going to give yourself permission to allow to fall away and in, and, and, you know, you need permission when there’s something that says, who do you think you are? Or who do you think you are to let your kids watch TV for three hours today? Who do you think you are okay to not make dinner and let everybody have cereal for dinner? Who do you think you are to not make your kids have a clean room and make their bed and create for kids? Who do you think you are? Katie justice. That’s our favorite post Avery. Rubenstein the naked and afraid posts of like I had to show her. She was like, Oh my God. I think her daughter is made. That is us like her and her younger brother, like the younger, Katie’s little one dressed in a loin cloth because they’ve been watching the show naked and afraid.
1 (14m 21s):
And so now they’re recreating that in their back yard, which is hilarious. Yeah. Who do you think you are? I’ll tell you who you are. Your a child of the universe is ready to show up as a grown up and be part of the solution and see this time as a personal development retreat, where you get to connect and love and get back to all the things and not allow fear and panic to run the show. Are you ready to start having
0 (14m 52s):
Productive conversations? Have you been listening to the podcast for a while? And you hear me go through my three step PRODUCTIVE conversation or process to solve any problem. And you’re thinking, how does she do that? Guess what? I made a really cool resource for you guys. I call it the problem solving one sheet, okay. It’s one sheet front and back. So, you know, take it with a grain of salt, but it will walk you through how to have productive conversations and you’ll practice. And before you know, it you’ll be having productive conversations all day, every day. It really is the solution to solve any problem. So you can download it at Mastermind Parenting dot com forward slash problem solving all one word that’s Mastermind Parenting dot com for slash problem solving all one word.
