I just celebrated my daughter’s 21st birthday. We’re out in San Diego because she is doing some internships here and we decided to relocate to California for a while. So I’ve been working from here. And I have been with my daughter a lot lately. She goes to school in Santa Barbara and we went back to Santa Barbara last weekend to celebrate her birthday and have a whole special weekend. We had a lot of time on the road together, and over the weekend we were processing what is happening in our country right now.
It was interesting to be around her, and she’s also moving into a house in Santa Barbara with several other young, smart women. There were a bunch of different birthday things that they did for her this weekend, and we all celebrated together.
So, they’re all just beside themselves, understandably with this overturn of Roe v. Wade. I think just so many of us are just in shock and disbelief and grief. And in the coaching world, we’re in what we call the goo, which is anytime we’re going through an identity shift, meaning we’re not who we were before.
I learned to look at this identity shift in terms of comparing the human to the butterfly. When the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the caterpillar goes into the chrysalis and then eventually it becomes a totally different animal. And when it goes into the chrysalis, it dissolves, and it becomes like caterpillar soup. And then all the cells within that organism restructure and turn into an entirely new organism. And so, the caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
And anytime we go through an identity shift, which is, who I was before is not who I am or who I’m becoming, we all kind of become person soup. We become person “goo” for a while, and this happens all throughout our lives.
So, with this episode I’m unpacking my thoughts and feelings around this transition, and those of others I’ve been talking to, like my daughter, her friends, parents, and others. This is impacting multiple generations. I understand that many of us are grieving, and sometimes anger is a part of the grieving process. But so often I think people just get stuck there. Let’s use the anger to mobilize ourselves. Let’s use the anger to strategize. Let’s use the anger to step out of the privilege that me and many other people have known, which is our bodies, our business.
As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!
About Randi Rubenstein
Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.
She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.
At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.
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