Sometimes it seems like the over-achievers and perfectionists rule the world.
Striving. Accomplishing. Achieving. Telling everyone about it on FB.
At what cost? I am taking a stand…NOT PLAYING BY THOSE RULES.
In Liz Gilbert’s new book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, she talks about living creatively simply b/c it creates happiness – not for medals, $$$ or accolades. If those things come, so be it. Liz’s friend began ice-skating again at 40 and experienced the joy she had lost when it became all about competing as a teen. As the friend discovered she would never achieve high competitive success 25 years earlier, she quit skating. She now skates for fun in the morning before work with the twelve year olds at the rink.
How many of us are sending these same messages to our kids?
Is it only worth pursuing an opportunity or participating if you can be the best?
What about having interests or playing sports just b/c it’s fun and brings joy?
What is so wrong with being “Good Enough”?
I love the quote, “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.”
Here are some examples of my“Good Enough – everything” these days that I try and teach my kiddos :
Play piano just to play and enjoy making music; no one around here is putting in the time to become the next Mozart, however, they “practice” without nagging which I think is called just playing.
Sports can really add to your life by learning to be part of a team, creating an outlet for exercise and teaching amazing values; our motto is “get out there and have a good time and don’t act like a sh!thead doing it.”
Life is not a popularity contest. Have at least one real friend and be a real friend to that friend. There will be many party lists your name is not on and that has nothing to do with your self worth.
Regarding my physical appearance, I have embraced the “Good Enough” rule in my life. I look “good enough” to show up confidently without feeling crappy. This usually looks like the 20 minute get ready regime which involves a shower with hair pulled up (some days washed and some dirty), light make-up which involves a little concealer, mascara, light lipstick and bronzer and casual clothing with a cute infinity scarf that will keep me warm in the HIGHLY air conditioned Houston buildings. I’m not looking “red carpet ready” but it’s “Good Enough”.
Regarding work – business or school, do your best and accomplish personal goals. In my business, this involves keeping things small and balanced with my family life. I like a few hours of meaningful work beyond motherhood a day. That feels “Good Enough”. As far as school, set your goals and go for it. My oldest son totally lives by the “Good Enough” rule – he is a responsible student and is perfectly content with low A’s and high B’s. We never insist on A’s or dictate what grades our kids SHOULD strive for – it’s their decision and we encourage and praise them for their efforts.
When it comes to exercise, I aim to move and be physical daily…it may be yoga or just walking my dogs outside. I don’t want to be a yoga instructor or increase my walk to a run. It is “Good Enough”.
When it comes to my body I really try to celebrate it for being “Good Enough”. Why do so many of us think we have to wait to lose the weight to put a little effort into our physical appearance? You know, your grandma was right…a little lipstick never killed anyone.
I promise you are “Good Enough” exactly as you are. Why show our kids that only “excellence” deserves celebration? Don’t we really just wanna feel “Good Enough” and WORTHY in our lives?
I would rather my kids grow up to feel worthy of love and belonging and HAPPINESS than to grow up and prove to the world that they are the best.
Besides, over-achievers are kind of annoying.