Truth be told, I have always been extremely particular regarding the men I choose to invite into my life.
My mom says that when I was a very little girl, the only man I wanted anything to do with was my dad.
I will admit that the high level of scrutiny in the male selection process has been consistent throughout my life.
I wouldn’t say that I dislike most men but I will admit that my gut has always told me to choose carefully.
From boyfriends to guy friends and of course, the one and only Scott Rubenstein; the men in my life are small in numbers and big in terms of quality.
This got me thinkin’…ya’ll know how I like to do that.
As women, the Mamas raising the boys, how do we become part of the solution & churn out more quality men?
Quality men that will confidently laugh at anyone that refers to them as “Mama’s boys” as they dominate in sports, business and life.
Over the years, I have had a few incredible guy friends and I can think of 2 in particular now. They both happen to be divorced dads that are hands-on parents.
And not to be sexist but…dads that show up as incredible parents usually embody many “mom-like” qualities in my opinion.
By that, in no way do I mean these two hairy, women loving, masculine dudes are anything other than super “manly”.
They prioritize their kids and I find them both to be extremely present, patient and loving.
Essentially they show up for their kids the way most mothers do.
It is a beautiful thing to witness an engaged Daddy, crazy in love with his children.
And as a wife of a man that is “that” Daddy, there is nothing that makes us fall more in love with our men, right?
As Mothers that are mothering sons, the future Dads of tomorrow, what if we made a conscious effort to raise our little boys to value the act of nurturing?
But how do we accomplish this and what does it look like?
By continuing to love our sons up rather than toughen them up throughout their childhood.
Toughening will happen naturally out in the world of sports and male competition and we can be their soft place to land where they are allowed to be human and have feelings.
Baby dolls have always been a part of girlhood but what about our boys?
This is not a new message…
Who remembers William Wants a Doll from Free to Be You and Me?
Best song. Best message.
Gloria Steinem says it well, as usual, “We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.”
Mamas of boys: We are raising the husbands and Daddies of tomorrow. We are the shapers of those future men. Let us seize this opportunity and create the men that we want in our daughter’s and granddaughter’s lives.
Personally, I choose one that changes diapers.