This week I feel compelled to write about something very personal to me.It comes down to the single biggest worry or concern I have had as a mom.The Big Kahuna, lying just beneath the surface , ever since my oldest son was born, 18 years ago next Tuesday.It has been the real question in my mind all along…AND I thought it was just me.I had never heard anyone else talk about this worry and I certainly never shared it with anyone.I have heard moms, including myself, speak openly about fears regarding their child’s health and safety… but not this.As parents, some of the worries on our minds today include:“Is there red dye in that licorice? It could cause cancer I hear.”“Before I can allow Johnny to have a playdate at your house, I have to ask…do you have a gun in your house?”“Do you allow the kids to play on the computer unsupervised?”“How do I monitor my teenager’s virtual activity to make sure no bullying or predators are victimizing my kid?”But still the main impetus that set me on my path as a parent; the thought lurking close by; the one I had never heard discussed. Well, it never seemed to be a part of the conversation.I even taught conscious parenting classes myself for several years and this thought was never included in the course content I was teaching.I loved teaching parenting classes and connecting with other moms and dads and I knew the information I was sharing was powerful.I felt passionate about the parenting tools that had transformed my life and opened me up to a different way to raise my kids from the way I experienced as a kid.So, after many years of practicing on my 3 little pigs, (GUINEA PIGS, PEOPLE! Have a sense of humor. Please.)I was able to honestly put my biggest worry to bed.And it felt really really good. It felt like freedom in my body.I wasn’t aware of this on a conscious level but I felt better than ever and I knew my life was different because of the family Scott and I had built.I hadn’t thought about my biggest worry lingering below sea level in quite some time.Until…I sent out my first survey after my coach training program to pick a few brains and gather data as I set off developing my parent coaching business in a bigger way.That is what I like to do as a fact finder.I sent it out to about 20 hand selected people who seemed like good representatives of people I would want to work with.Out of those people, I compiled the answers and under the question, “What do you worry most about as a mom?” There was one person whose answer gave me a major lightbulb/chill bump jolt.She answered the question so honestly and I didn’t even know her all that well.The question: What is your biggest worry as a mom…when you are lying in the dark all alone with your thoughts?Her response: “I really just don’t want to f&@k up my kids. I think about it a lot and it is my biggest worry. This is too big. Too important.”The AHA that I had when I read that was, “Holy shit. She answered this EXACTLY as I would have a few years ago if anyone had asked me this question.”As soon as I read her answer, I knew this had always been the fear and worry at the heart of my Mama soul.The thing I had never heard discussed.Years before when I started this crazy motherhood ride, that was the driving force behind my quest for knowledge to do it differently than it had been done for me.Like all of you, I loved these little people so much. I wanted more for them. Also, a common thread for many of us.I wanted them to grow up and feel better than I dd. I tried hard to mask how I really felt deep inside with a tough exterior.I acted like I didn’t care what people thought and protected myself with a hardened shell.But this act was a lot of work and frankly, still left me feeling crummy inside a lot of the time.Years later, my exterior was beginning to slowly match my interior.My outsides were softening. I was becoming more approachable and less intimidating to other women. This has always been an issue for me.Inside, I have never felt that tough. The tears were always close to the surface. Inside I had searched for many years for ways to feel better.And inside, I knew that my dreams for my kids included them feeling better about themselves than I did as a kid and as a young adult.It has now been about 2 years since I met with that kind and generous woman that answered my survey so honestly.Since then, her answer has helped me to hone in and connect with the clients I am meant to support.It seems that her answer is the common denominator for me and many of the people that fall into my 1/3 tribe.We worry that we might screw up our kids.We want them to have it better than we did when we were growing up and to approach adulthood from a happier place.We are ready to create new patterns. Healthier ones. Ones that feel better.This is why I am titling the book I am currently writing…What do you think?I hope you will let me know and join in this conversation.I am working so hard to create a platform for a real and honest discussion about this topic.I am offering tools and stories and scenarios that have helped me to put this worry to rest.I can’t wait to share it with you and to be able to dig into this meaty convo and support each other.It’s gonna be super fun. Promise.