Last week, I wrote to y’all about taking that first baby step toward parenting your kiddos differently from the old dominant model involving fear, threats, shaming and punishment.
Today, I am sharing a practical tool to help with your next baby step.
To be the new conscious and effective CEO of your family, it is imperative to master the art of assertive communication.
Assertive communication is direct – not wishy washy.
However, it’s not mean, harsh or rude either.
It never ends with violent words, thoughts or actions.
The CEO tool I wanna share with you today is the difference between a command and a request.
Command: “It’s bed time. It’s time to turn the t.v. off and take a shower.”
Request: “It’s bed time, o.k.? Would you mind turning off the t.v. and will you please hop in the shower?”
What if after the parent says, “It’s bed time, ok?”, the kid responds, “No it’s not o.k. I’m not tired or ready for bed. In fact, I plan to party. All. Night. Long…while channeling my inner Lionel Richey.”
The thing is – this request made by the parent is actually a command in disguise.
The language is not direct and assertive and therefore, confusing to a kid
The kid can most likely tell by the parent’s tone that they were just commanded to go to bed, however, since the language appears ambiguous, most kids will roll the dice and weigh in with their opinion..since they were sorta asked.
The child will usually stall or argue based on this confusion.
I mean, what kid WANTS to stop relaxing and watching their favorite show to take a shower and end the fun by going to sleep?
As you learn to assertively communicate with your kids, cooperation from them will go through the roof and your relationship will become more positive and connected.
This is just one of many tools but remember, you have to take baby steps before you sign up for your first 5K.
For more tools, support and accountability to create the connected family you crave, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.