When we were planning a vacation when the kids were little, my husband would often say things like, “They’re too small. They won’t remember so it won’t count. Let’s wait til they’re older when it will actually matter to take them to____(Disneyworld or some other special place)”.
It was no big mystery to find the roots of his “let’s wait til they’re old enough” script since I have heard my in-laws say the same thing no less than a hundred times in the 20 years we have been married.
Even though it’s true that most of us have few conscious memories from our first 7 or 8 years, it actually turns out that experiences during the first years of our life, are the ones that are the most foundational in shaping our current thoughts, behaviors and ultimately, the results in our lives.
According to cellular biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton, in the first seven years of life, the human subconscious or habitual mind is programmed by the people and behaviors we are surrounded by.
Usually this includes our parents, siblings, teachers, and community.
This programming affects the part of your brain that is your automatic default approximately 95 percent of the time, your subconscious.
When our kids are young, it is the perfect time to simultaneously program new parenting patterns within ourselves alongside our tiny tots as their subconscious brains are being programmed.
So it turns out, we do actually get credit for those special experiences when our kids are little even if they aren’t able to recall the conscious memories later.
The subconscious programming occurring during an early Disney vacay may leave us with a deep love for all things Disney that we can’t explain much later.
That must be why, “It’s a small world” feels comforting rather than creepy to many of us.
Because hands down, that song is the perfect soundtrack for a horror movie.
If you suddenly feel like you might barf because you find yourself with teenagers and you’re panicked that you royally screwed up when your kids were little ones…you may as well have a drink b/c the damage is done.
Just kidding. Relax. I was trying to be funny.
BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.
Kids of all ages are receptive to conscious parenting tools. It’s never to late to begin.
Seriously though, if you know deep down that you are not taking action to change the patterns that didn’t feel good for you as a kid, the time is now to dig in and deal.
If secretly, you are screaming your head off or spending more time on technology than with your people, commit to making a change and stop beating yourself up or feeling buried in denial.
As you know, it is your kids that matter…not convincing your virtual “friends” that you are living the dream with a “perfect” family.
This is why you might feel guilty at night and worry that you are screwing up the people you love the most in the whole wide world.
We can turn this around SO much easier than you can even imagine.
At the very least, read my book because I wrote it for you and this exact issue.
I have had many requests lately for parenting tools with little kids. As I just explained, I believe that big programming is happening in our kids’ brains in the early years and therefore, I have some things cookin’ to support y’all.
Upcoming workshops for parents of kids ages 2-6 covering the following topics:
• Bedtime battles
• Sibling fighting
• Picky eating
• Power Struggles
• How to handle hurt feelings (if your child is the “hurter” or the wounded)
Email me if you would like to be added to the interest list. Series will begin mid September.