What You Resist…Persists.


This morning, my husband and I went to an early morning yoga class before our kids were awake.

This is a new thing for us. 

I love yoga.  I love being with Scott.  It feels a little bit like a dream come true way to start my day.

Scott resisted starting yoga.

In fact, he put it off for a whole year.

At the end of 2015, he told me he would begin yoga in 2017.

I asked, “What’s wrong with 2016?”

He replied, “Uhhhh ya – I think I will wait a year to start.”

A few weeks ago, I urged my yoga resistant hubba hubba to sign up for the 40 Days of yoga program at my favorite studio, Big Yoga in Houston.

He is now halfway through his six-week deep dive into yoga.

This morning, Jenny, our yoga teacher referenced a scene from Harry Potter.

I am probably 1 out of only 2 people that hasn’t read or watched anything Potter related so I did not expect to find her reference relevant to my life.

Evidently, there was a scene where the characters were entrapped by some scary vines. 

The more the characters resisted and fought to break free, the tighter a hold the vines had on them.

Eventually the characters learned that they had to stop struggling to become free from the deadly vine’s hold.

The metaphor was about relaxing to find strength rather than resisting when facing a challenge. 

She used this metaphor to teach how to handle the resistance you might feel during certain yoga poses.

Jenny taught us to breathe and calmly lean into the discomfort rather than making it more intense by telling ourselves how hard it is.

Scott resisted signing up for yoga for a year.

Over the last year, it has been hard at times to spend as much time together as we used to.

My schedule has become busy in a different way than it used to be when the kids were little.

Sometimes I can sense that Scott wants me to watch a mindless show with him in the evening as I catch up on emails and busy work.

I encouraged him to come to yoga with me as a great way to exercise and spend time together.

He didn’t wanna.

He wanted things to be the way they used to be involving lots of T.V. binge bonding…also super fun I gotta say.

I doubt he would admit this but I felt his resistance to embracing our new normal most evenings.

I felt a little tension between us.

However, just like magic, 3-weeks into his yoga journey and the air feels clear.

We spend more time coordinating and going to classes together.

We began today with a 6:15am yoga and coffee date.

We are having fun.

He stopped resisting and positive movement is happening.

What persists in YOUR life that you would like to change?

For many of the parents I work with, it’s challenging kids that behave like little entitled dictators.

These parents sometimes feel like they are walking on eggshells in their own homes – moments away from a meltdown.

“What you resist…persists.”

The resistance shows up as being unwilling to look deeper at the roots of your little Napolean’s behavior.

Is it mama guilt that prevents you from assertively putting your foot down the second the demands begin to fly out of your kid’s mouth?

As long as you avoid looking at the real reason you feel guilty and fixing that, the dictatorial demands will persist.

Lean in.  Surrender the struggle.  Breathe.  Relax.  And let the magic happen.

If this sounds like hocus pocus to you, the magical life you want will remain out of arm’s reach.

I want a magical life for you because like me, you really deserve it.  Take action and make it happen. 

Reach out to learn about Conscious Parent Mastery.  It’s a magical program.

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