I’ve been thinking a lot about the word freedom this week and what it means for parents and what it means for kids.
As a parent, freedom might be choosing when to wake up for the day rather than having a young child determine when you’ve gotten enough rest.
Or freedom might be the flexibility to come and go as you please without having to jump through hoops to find child care when you want to exercise or go out to dinner with friends.
Sometimes, being a parent might feel like a straitjacket experience…the opposite of freedom.
You might even yearn for the days when those freedoms I just mentioned were so abundant in your life that you probably took them for granted.
Well here’s the good news.
You can create more freedom in your life as a parent even though it might look different than your carefree life before kids.
And the other good news…creating a freedom filled environment for the mama will allow your kids to experience more independence and ultimately, more freedom too.
It’s a win win.
• FREEDOM TIP 1: There is no good mom manual. And if there was one, it would tell you to STOP DOING EVERYTHING. It is called motherhood not martyr-hood.
• FREEDOM TIP 2: When you do everything for your kids, it creates disrespect,resentment and ultimately disconnection for all involved. Seriously, STOP IT.
• FREEDOM TIP 3: Control your environment not your kids. Routines, structure, rules and rituals will proactively help your household to feel familiar and safe for your kids. They will thrive and your relationship will feel freedom from tension and power struggles.
Finding freedom in ways beyond waking to the tune of your natural alarm clock is totally possible as a mom. Here are a few suggestions to get the ball rolling:
• Sick of bedtime taking FOREVER and sending kids to bed with threats and tears? Establish a strict bedtime mullet ritual…the child handles the bedtime biz up front and you show up for the snuggle/book party on the backend. Ending your day with a battle feels imprisoning. The mullet ritual will feel like freedom! Please reach out if you need help with systems and enforcement
• Does your kid have lolly-gagger in the morning syndrome? Feeling like you might bang your head against a brick wall if you have to ask someone to put his damn shoes on AGAIN? A defined morning routine gets everyone on the same team and working together and will put an end to morning power struggles. It will feel like a sense of freedom in your bodies. Please reach out if you need help with systems and enforcement
There is a new way to raise kids that feels like freedom for the whole family.
Most of us were raised “old style”.
I love anything retro or vintage…however, when it comes to parenting, there is no comparison. The new parenting paradigm is way better than kickin’ it old school.
No need for controlling fear tactics.
Conscious parents aren’t permissive or passive either.
Kids are reasonable, kind, respectful.
AND kids are allowed to have their own opinions and disagree with their parents.
It takes a minute to learn the new parenting methods even though they are totally logical in my book.