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223: #2 The Needs Wing in The Framework That Transforms Strong-Willed Kids

By January 31, 2023November 7th, 2023Mastermind Parenting Podcast
223: #5 The Enforce Wing in The Framework That Transforms Strong-Willed Kids

Today I introduce you to the “N” in the NICE framework, a roadmap to teach kids the skills they don’t have to manage their nervous systems and to turn around difficult behaviors. “N” stands for Needs and it’s where we begin to figure out what is causing our children to behave the way they do.

This NICE Framework series teaches parents how to speak to strong-willed kids in order to help them stop living in a dysregulated state. We must assess basic needs like sleep, food, and connection before communicating and enforcing boundaries and consequences. A mom came to me after her daughter was using the “I’m scared” excuse to avoid tasks. I use this common challenge and unpack what the root issue is, then recommend looking at basic needs first and found that the connection between mother and daughter was the solution. We must take time to diagnose real problems and look for the solution in basic needs.

“Kids are designed to be magical thinkers and to experience a whole lot of joy and to get lost in play. So, if we have a kid that’s not doing that the majority of the time, we know we have a problem. We know we have a problem. It’s just a matter of how do we fix the problem? What is the solution?”

In this episode, you will learn the following:

  1. How can understanding basic needs help to transform a strong-willed child’s behavior?
  2. What are the components of the NICE Framework and how can it be used to communicate effectively with strong-willed kids?
  3. How can pausing to assess basic needs interrupt the cycle of dysregulation in strong-willed children?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

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Thanks so much for listening to the Mastermind Parenting podcast, where we support the strong willed child and the families that love them!

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by Randi Rubenstein