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229: Uncovering the Causes of Contrarian Kids – Jillian’s Story

By March 14, 2023November 7th, 2023Mastermind Parenting Podcast
229: Uncovering the Causes of Contrarian Kids - Jillian's Story

Contrarian Kids are often moody, negative, and can have after school restraint collapse. They may be trying to tell us that they are feeling overwhelmed, and their negative attitude has been a way to get attention. Jillian, a medical professional, was stumped by her contrarian kid and spoke with Lindsay who helped her shift her relationship and her daughter. She realized she was focusing on her daughter being strong-willed without acknowledging that she was being strong-willed too, and that’s why they were constantly butting heads and her daughter would win every time. You may relate to Jillian’s story as this conversation between Jillian and Lindsay provides an insightful resource to help those in similar situations.

“The reason that the contrarian pattern is in our lives is because there really is something to figure out. We must figure out what is causing my kid to have this blown nervous system so much of the time. Where are they putting so much energy out and using their bandwidth that it’s just too much for them?”

In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What is the contrarian kid, and what do they want to tell us?
2. How can we help our contrarian children regulate their nervous system?
3. What is the story of Randi’s formerly strong-willed child, and how did their relationship change?

And much more! The biggest thing Jillian has learned through this process of learning our N.I.C.E. framework to transform her strong-willed kid is that Jillian herself is a highly sensitive person. This is why I say parenting is the ultimate personal development journey. When we are open to coaching and seeing things differently, we learn so much not only about our kids but about ourselves as well.

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

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Thanks so much for listening to the Mastermind Parenting podcast, where we support the strong willed child and the families that love them!

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Transcription

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by Randi Rubenstein