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64: Exhausted People Suck – Sleep Episode with Certified Sleep Consultant, Cory Greenberg

By May 21, 2019November 9th, 2023Mastermind Parenting Podcast
64: Exhausted People Suck - Sleep Episode with Certified Sleep Consultant, Cory Greenberg

In this episode, I sat down with sleep consultant, Cory Greenberg, to help all you exhausted parents. There is SO much gold in this convo. You guys are gonna love it!

Topics Covered:

  • Assessing  basic needs – sleep and nutrition
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Early puberty and the link to heightened cortisol is often caused by a lack of quality sleep
  • ADHD and how it links to sleep issues
  • How ADHD and sleep deprivation symptoms look similar
  • Putting on your mama detective hat  rather only listening to the Western medicine “experts”
  • Screens and sugar and how they affect sleep
  • Consistency of sleep routine and what needs to happen leading up to it
  • Proper amounts of  sleep
  • Parenting strategies involving empowering choices and proactive connecting moments and how it supports healthy sleep patterns
  • “I love you” rituals before bed for toddlers and teens
  • Your family team and how to help your kids feel a sense of value on the family team
  • Why sticker charts and reward systems don’t work long term

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Social Links

About Our Guest

Cory is a Certified Child Sleep Consultant, working with families from pregnancy through age 5. She is also a mom of three kids, ages 9, 7, and 5, so has been in the trenches of those early years of sleep deprivation.
She was a Clinical Social Worker in her former life, working with families in the CPS system, and draws on that experience and others to identify the family dynamics and other root causes of baby and toddler sleep issues. She honors each family’s parenting style and philosophy to devise a comprehensive and customized path to optimal sleep for everyone.
To reach out to Cory, you can find her at

Links & Resources

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0 (0s):
You’re listening to the Mastermind Parenting Podcast with Randi Rubenstein episode 64.

1 (8s):
My name’s Randi Rubenstein and welcome to the Mastermind Parenting Podcast where we believe. When your thoughts grow the conversations in your home flub.

0 (22s):
Hi guys, how are you today? I have a special treat with me and my podcast studio is Cory Greenberg Sleep Consultant Xtrordinair. She helps all of you guys who are like enough. I just want a good nights sleep. And Cory is someone that I know personally, we met actually we met, we met because we kept seeing each other, getting recommended on Facebook. And I started realizing that when people came to me, I always start with basic needs because I just feel like if you’re not sleeping and you’re not fueled properly, like I can teach you every great parenting tool under the sun, but you’re never going to remember it because sleep deprived adults and sleep deprived kids.

0 (1m 11s):
We’re just not our smartest best selves period. End of story. So I always start with basic needs. But what I found was when I had a family that it was clear that there was a big Sleep issue. It was kinda like, like it wasn’t my happy place. And then I kept seeing Cory getting recommended. And so I reached out and it was like, I think maybe we need to meet because I’m feeling like it’s a full-blown straight jacket when somebody comes to me and I know they have sleep issues and it’s obviously your zone of genius. So let’s meet. So we met and we talked and it was all good. And I was like, I’m definitely going to start referring we’re in alignment.

0 (1m 51s):
And then Corey was like, maybe I should join your mastermind. Like I still have a pretty little kid’s and, and I wanna learn some of the stuff that you’re teaching and Mastermind Parenting. So we really know each other. Let me read you kind of her official bio. So she’s a certified Child Sleep Consultant working with families from pregnancy through age five. She is also a mom of three kids ages nine to 11 and five. And she has been in the trenches of those early years of sleep depravation. She was a clinical social worker in her former life, working with families in the CPS system. And she draws on that experience and others to identify I’m like all the little family dynamics and she takes it all into consideration.

0 (2m 41s):
She carries a no judgment attitude when parents are about the working mom guilt or the last resort, co-sleeping arrangement with their toddlers. And she’s all about like, let’s get you guys sleeping. So she doesn’t narrowly describe like subscribe to a particular like cry it out or no cry. Instead. She really works with You and caters the approach to what’s in alignment with you and your family values. That’s what I love about you, because I think a lot of people have said that about Mastermind Parenting as well. Like yes, I teach certain Mastermind Parenting pillars, but I’m always adjusting it based on who you are.

0 (3m 24s):
We’re not robots like we’re all humans. And at the end of the day, Cory is not an expert on your family. Randi is not an expert on your family. Let’s really take the whole family dynamic into account and let’s cater the approach specific for you.

2 (3m 43s):
Yes, exactly. I’m you know, that’s the biggest key, I think for me in why I love this work so much is because it is taught me to be so flexible and just to kind of meet parents where they are. And you know, like you said, in In, you know, talking about my bio, I think that really draws from my experience in social work and working with family dynamics because Sleep has where all of that comes out, you know, whether you’re a working mom or your a stay-at-home mom and you’re with your kids all day long, it really matters. You know, what that, what that family dynamic looks like and what’s happening during the day and all of it is gonna hang out at night. So it’s one reason why I’m so grateful to meet with you.

2 (4m 26s):
And it was almost two years ago, actually. Yeah. And incorporating everything I learned in doing the Mastermind. First of all, I applied it to my own kids. And I was one of those moms who had read every book under the sun. That’s actually what led me to being a sleep consultant. I had read all of those Sleep books. And so I felt like I had some of that knowledge already. And finally by the third kid had figured it out. But when I met with you and started incorporating some of those, you know, skills and tactics into my work with my own kids, I realized how much I could use this in how I work with families now. And you’re just always in my head when I’m, when I’m helping parents with their toddlers, because toddlers can be very challenging.

2 (5m 8s):
They, you know, lots of different behaviors come out when it comes to sleep and parents feel paralyzed sometimes as to how to change those patterns. So that’s kind of where I can step in and say, you know, okay, this is where we need to start. And you’re right. It is about the basic needs part. The first thing that I always start with, I call it like the foundations of sleep, which looks at when are these kids sleeping? When are they getting up in the morning? Or are they taking a nap? If so, how long is it an app? When is the bedtime? Because, and that’s some of the Sleep side and stuff that you are probably like a, you know, when it comes to that, is it, it does take microscope to look at it. You know, our kids going to bed at the right time for their bodies because you know, not to get too science-y or technical, but we all have, you know, a 24 hour clock, like our circadian rhythm you’ve heard of, and our bodies are primed for sleep at a certain time.

2 (6m 1s):
If you miss that window, you know, your body is flushed with cortisol and you get like a second wind. So that’s what, a lot of times I hear parents when they end up, you know, with the kids going to bed too late, they become a Tasmanian devil. And then it’s impossible for them to settle because their body’s are flushed with cortisol.

0 (6m 18s):
Well, that’s interesting what the cortisol, cause all I had learned years ago that if you missed the window, which is typically like seven to eight 30, right. Where they are fully asleep, if you miss that window, then they’re ready to party in a party usually until 10 or beyond.

2 (6m 36s):
Yes. And what happens when you, when they go to bed, you know, after their window. So a lot of times parents will say, well, I just ran a rag it until they just fell over and passed out. Well, a lot of times I see night wakings or early rising, early rising is a big issue with toddlers. And the reason is you didn’t go to bed when your body clock wanted you to, and everything is just kind of off. So you’re not getting as read. The deepest sleep they get is in the first half of the night. So if you’re starting too late, they are not getting that, that really deep restorative sleep. And it disrupts the rest of the night,

0 (7m 8s):
Curious about what your thoughts are on this, you know? So when you don’t sleep enough and we all know, like, if you think back to your hangover days of college or now, and your like you wake up and you didn’t sleep great and you had, you know, whatever, cause you never hit that deep REM because you had alcohol or her system and you wake up and you want something, what really greasy, write, read, or write like the, at all, like you were like, Oh my God, I need the greasiest grossest thing right now. So when our bodies are sleep deprived, we always crave less healthy fuel the other basic need. And so I was asking my pediatrician at my Cory, my little one’s appointment, he just turned 13 and he has his 13th apartment.

0 (7m 56s):
And I said, she said, you know, well maybe we should get like a bone density scan. He’s a little late to develop. And I was like, yo, I’m not doing all that. He is my third kid. My kids don’t go through puberty til 15. I’ve got to other kids too, you know? And I said, but it is weird because in this day and age they’re saying kids go through puberty younger and younger. I said, why is that? And why are my kids going through later? Like I actually went through puberty at 15. So I mean not 15 at 13. So maybe even started at 12. So my kids going through 15 is a little odd to me and I me and my husband kind of felt like we are cheating because we get to extra years of childhood.

0 (8m 39s):
Yeah. My 13 year old is still wants to play hide and go seek, you know? And I see it at the bar and bar mitzvahs, the kids who are going through puberty, it’s a whole different story. I have always been asleep Nazi like my kids, for sure. And they say as teenagers, they get way more than anyone else under the sun that they know. So I’ve always been kinda crazy. And for the most part, my household now for however many years, 21 years, it’s quiet by eight o’clock at night. And nobody really rises in our household until seven in the morning. So it’s always been kind of have an 11 hour. Not that everyone sleeps for 11 hours, it’s an 11 hour or a quiet zone. And I’ve always been pretty crazy about that.

0 (9m 20s):
And she said, I said, do you think that it has anything to do with it? She said, for sure, she said, because when you’re sleep deprived and most of our kids are walking around in a sleep deprived state, cause they’re not even an hour or two hours, three hours sleep deprived. Yes. She said, you crave the higher fat foods kind of like when you’re hung over when right. And that heightened cortisol that’s in the, in the kids’ bodies is causing them to develop younger and younger. I said, so are you telling me, I can tell parents, Hey, you need to prioritize, sleep and fuel, especially sleep.

0 (10m 0s):
That’s where it all starts. And as a result, your kids could have a kid hit puberty later because that’s what we’ve witnessed. She said, absolutely. You could absolutely link those two. So for you guys who are dreading the teenage years, this is really important to listen to Cory is going to share some stories with us, but really, really important to think about how much are your kids sleeping? Are they walking around in a slightly sleep deprived state? And maybe you can get two extra years like I do from these, from the grate kind of younger childhood before you have to deal with the teenage years just from getting your kids and your family on a better sleep routine.

2 (10m 47s):
Yeah. That’s, I mean, that’s fascinating and makes total sense, you know, and there’s this link that’s kind of talked about now between Sleep and ADHD. And I was just, before I came here, rereading this article that I found so interesting and it talks about how there are many cases where ADHD is misdiagnosed because all of the symptoms look like the same as when a little one is sleep deprived. You know, that lack of concentration, that all of that extra seemingly boundless energy is like, we just talked about that, you know, cortisol that, you know, flooding there systems and not only just that its misdiagnosed, but that there is a link between ADHD and sleep issues.

2 (11m 33s):
And if you think about a kid who has ADHD and all of the behaviors that you see it is, it is, it looks like sleep deprivation and how much that affects them at school and at home and with their peers. And so it’s even more important if your child has an ADHD diagnosis to look underneath that, but also to understand the that’s there between them. And so getting those kids that are the most Sleep that they possibly can is critical.

0 (11m 60s):
Yeah. You know, it’s also interesting because I wonder when a teacher is flagging as a kid is possibly being ADHD and they’re encouraging the parents’ to go to the, you know, get the duck, you know, to go and do all of the diagnostic testing and then you go and some people just talk to their pediatrician about it. Some people go through the whole diagnostic testing and Do the rigmarole and spend thousands of dollars like I did. And then those experts come back and say, yes, you could definitely has ADHD with a side of anxiety. Cause usually that’s what happens to me. And we recommend that you put them on this medication and I did so no judgment about medication here, but no one ever asked me, what are your sleep habits, right?

0 (12m 48s):
Is he, maybe we should do a sleep study. Is he getting, you know, I found out when he was 16, he had major sinus surgery.

2 (12m 56s):
So what I was gonna say, its not just the sleep depravation, but the quality of their sleep. And there’s a link between ADHD and kids with their, you know, enlarged adenoids and tonsils, which causes apnea

0 (13m 8s):
When your mama instinct is saying, I got to do some more investigation here. Like really look for the Resources and, and really put on that detective hat yourself and the place to start. If your child is strong-willed acting out your household awards zone, it doesn’t seem like he’s got the executive functioning skills go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I want y’all to be Assessing basic needs first. So I want, so Corey, if you could share, I would just go out for you to shear kind of maybe like one client story that you think will resonate and you thought was particularly interesting.

2 (13m 53s):
Yeah, I would love to. And it ties in so well with what you’re talking about because the, this family in particular had two boys and both of them had some pretty serious sleep issues. The older one was three and the younger one was 18 months and the 18 month old was actually a foster child that they had had since he was about 10 months. So that they’d had them about eight months. And the older one was when I, when I met with them, the mom said to me, I have ADHD. And I’m pretty sure that little Johnny has a To. And I said, well, what do you, what, you know, what do you see? She told me he was trying to climb out of his crib by six months. And I was like six months really?

2 (14m 33s):
And she said, no, I’m serious. By one year old, I had put the mattress all the way on the floor and the kid was climbing, climbing the Crip. And he was incredibly advanced in motor wise and walked super early. And he was actually there when I was meeting with them. And I mean, he really was like a little Energizer bunny, just non-stop. And so she was saying he did have some issues at school. He’s just, you know, it was not able to sit and focus. And what was happening at night is they would, you know, dad would come home and around seven o’clock, he was so wound up that they would turn on a show and it was the only way that they could get him to calm down and settle down.

2 (15m 15s):
And he was watching almost two hours of TV until I finally at nine o’clock. They could get him to go to sleep. And he was also eating a lot of raisins was his favorite thing to eat raisins, have a lot of sugar, unfortunately. So his was a really perfect storm of like he did have that temperament. And I don’t know now if you know, they’re going to end up diagnosing with ADHD at a later time, I feel like it does have a genetic component. So it could be that that is the direction it goes. But just the basic needs part is where we started, which was no more television, you know, by seven o’clock, this kid, he was expending energy. I mean, they were running him ragged, you know, the dad would come home and walk them around and take him for a walk around the neighborhood to kinda get some of that energy out.

2 (15m 59s):
But we stopped with the Screens and we cut down on the sugar. We have to really look at his diet because he was drinking a lot of milk and it was replacing his calories from food. So we just switched the milk, you know, he could have his milk, but it was after a meal, you know, as opposed to during the meal. And we also really worked on some of that one-on-one attention, as well as giving him some power and control over the nighttime routine. Cause one of the other things that it was going on with him was he would pick where he slept at night. I mean he had free reign of the house. And so, and it was a large house. They had a couple different spare bedrooms and so one night he would sleep in the spare bedroom and the other night he’d sleep on a big, giant pillow on the floor, in the living room.

2 (16m 45s):
And you know, my mom and dad I think were just so exhausted from just trying to keep up with him that they, that was a battle. They didn’t feel like fighting. And so they just let him kind of choose. And that’s where I sort of came in to look at it with them, the dynamics of that relationship. And like this was a kid who needs boundaries. He really needed. I mean, he was seeking the boundaries and they just didn’t really have the wherewithal to get on the same page. And they were hilarious. I loved working with them cause they constantly were throwing each other under the bus in like a funny way. You know, the, the mom would be like, well, I, you know, I’m the enforcer I can hold out forever. And the dads like, yeah, I am the one who caves. But then, you know, as we started working together, there would be like a bad night and my mom would be like, he’s the one that did it.

2 (17m 29s):
He caved and gave him milk in the middle of the night. They were just hysterical, had a great sense of humor about it, but we set boundaries and we gave him like, we made a, a, a routine check-list for bedtime where he got to help mom make the routine. And you know, it, it was a very prescriptive of like, these are the things that you’re going to do, but he was in charge of it. So we gave him a little clipboard and, you know, he could kind of check off the routine as he went. And then one funny thing that happened was we decided he was gonna, we were gonna put him in the guestroom because we were also working on his little brother. And it was really difficult to have them both in the same room while we were working on that. So we decided we are going to make, you know, his room, the guestroom, and even with all of the, the new boundaries and everything we set, he was still like seeking that, that power and control where they had a pack and play in there.

2 (18m 22s):
And it was, nobody had used it for two years. He started sleeping in the pack and play. She was three and a half. Did not fit in a pack and play, but that was his way of like, you’re telling me I’m going to sleep in here while I’m going to sleep over there in the pack and play. And we just, you know, we talked about that. Like, that’s fine. Let them sleep in the pack and play it. That’s not going to be comfortable for him, you know, in the long term, but we’re going to let him have that. So it’s really like a fine kind of dance between letting them have that power and control, which are all kids are seeking. Do you know, they need it. It’s part of their need for like significance. I’m in the family. That is like an Alfred Adler thing that all kids need belonging and they need significance. The significance part is giving your kids lots of opportunities to contribute to the family and help, you know, be a helper and, and kind of acknowledging them being a helper to you, but also giving them the sense that they have control over their world.

0 (19m 18s):
Yeah. Well it goes to, it’s like all of the Mastermind parent and fillers, like we want to give him a choice. The choice is the opposite of control, but we have to have that pack leadership in the assertiveness. So it’s not open-ended choice. It’s like your sleeping in the guest room. I want to Sleep in the pack and play. Absolutely.

2 (19m 38s):
Yeah. That is within the boundary. Right.

0 (19m 40s):
So you’re giving them, it’s like you’re using pack leadership and choice and it’s not controlling. It’s empowering and little three and four-year-olds, that’s all they are looking for in the world is chances to feel empowered. And then that reduces the power of struggles. Right? And then you are also, you know, tapping into that significance piece. Well, that’s when I’m like, yeah, it’s a family team. And part of it being a team member as being a valuable team member and then getting to feel significant and experienced that sense of accomplishment will guess what that’s, what happens when we give the little three-year-old the clip board and he’s in charge of his nighttime routine.

0 (20m 25s):
And then we’re, we’re following it up with effective. Praise is, look at you, you’re taking care of your body, your doing all the things that are checking off of the things you are really growing up way to go. Like sometimes people are like, because I can get a little picky about the, I hate the I’m proud of you, right? I’m proud of you. I’m so proud. You you’re really growing up way to go like that taps into your significant, and you’re not doing all of these things to please me. You get to have your own sense of identity and empowerment and a sense of accomplishment on our family team.

0 (21m 5s):
And you’re not here just to please me. You’re bringing so much value.

2 (21m 10s):
Yes, exactly. And, and that, you know, the toddler’s kind of a quest for independence is, is super related to sleep. You know, that’s what you’re wanting from them is for them to be independent when it comes to sleep. So if you’re doing reward charts or sticker charts or dollar store toys for staying in their room all night, that to me, that’s never going to be effective because first of all, when they’re seeking that, that connection or that need in the middle of the night, no dollar star toy or sticker is going to keep them from wanting that, you know, so it is not really effective and it becomes just kind of an empty thing or maybe they do it for a couple of nights. And then you’re having to up the ante when it comes to everyone says exactly.

2 (21m 52s):
And it really is an effective, and you’re wanting them to, to be proud of themselves for sleeping in their bed all night, you know, and one of the other sleep consultants I really admire, she said, one time that, you know, letting yourself fall asleep is really an act of bravery or courage because it really means that you have to let go of all of those needs, you know, as a toddler, those emotional needs that you have, especially that need for connection, which is why when I see a kid who really needs that, it’s the one who wants one more hug, another sip of water. Another animal gave me one more kiss when you have a kid like that. And he’s like, I call it a little Jack in the box. They’re seeking connection from mom. And so in order for them to like calm their nervous system enough to let themselves fall asleep, that’s kind of an act of bravery because it’s letting go of that connection.

2 (22m 42s):
And that’s kind of what we worked on with this little guy to, is that, you know, trying to build in little bonding games. And there’s a book I love called. I love you rituals that has all these cute little games that you can play right before bed that don’t rile them up. But that gives them that one last kind of dose of positive connections with mom or dad or so they can let themselves, okay, I’m fine. Just roll over and go to sleep.

0 (23m 6s):
I mean, not to get too graphic, but I think that’s why a lot of people like, you know, when we’re, grown-ups like, why don’t people have sex at night, right before they go to bed because you get that oxytocin. Those, I love you rituals. It’s like, we’re giving them that hit that hormonal hit of the love hormone. Right. And, and I love that same. I love you rituals book. And one of the easy ones that I just teach people as the goodnight eyebrow cause that a lot, because I’m lazy as a mom. And, and so it’s literally just tracing their face and it’s like goodnight eyebrow or a tiny little eyelashes, goodnight knows.

0 (23m 52s):
And you’re just like gently tracing their whole face. And another thing I like to do in terms of, and I love you rituals when they get older is the essential oils on the feet

2 (24m 4s):
Or a massage is perfect. Yeah. That,

0 (24m 6s):
You know, your, your older kids, a lot of times, if you are, you it’s like, you gotta be a good sales person. And so, so my whole thing of like my kid’s new, I was asleep Nazi because my whole thing was was how can you be, how can you operate at your best if you’re not fully well rested for school the next day? So they knew I was, I was crazy like that. So I was like, okay. My new thing is that I read this study that lavender oil on the bottom of your feet and you know, are more conducive to hitting the REM cycle of sleep. And literally my son who was like my oldest, he is now 21. It was like 16 or 17 at the time. And like, I would walk into his room with that lavender essential oil.

0 (24m 48s):
And he would like kick his big Carrey legs out of the cover’s and his giant. But he was ready for me to put that oil on his foot. But that, but that was so I sold it as, this is what we’re gonna do to make sure that your body gets enough sleep, but it was actually a connecting. I love you ritual. Yes. So, and you know, I mean, who doesn’t love a foot massage, right? And so when you kind of sell it in a, this is how your body’s going to be sleeping better. They don’t even realize you’re doing this touch and this beautiful, I love you ritual with them and you’re connecting and they don’t even realize you’re doing that.

2 (25m 29s):
Yeah. That’s awesome. I love that story to know that you can still have that connection before bed when they were 16 or 17. Right. But if you are,

0 (25m 37s):
We’re like, listen, we really need to connect, have noticed that I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little defensive lately, you know, they’re gonna be like, Oh yeah, you got it. It was just like, when I teach empathy and I’m like, okay, so you have to do empathy with our kids. Love the therapist. I do not sound like a therapist when they’re gonna think you’re a freak. Show me, like, you gotta kind of do a little bit of a bait and switch sometimes and be crafty about it. So sell it in terms of, if all your kids have been hearing is my job was to keep you safe and healthy. And then you’re coming in with these essential oils. That’s gonna make them sleep better. They were like, fine, whatever I’ll humor you.

0 (26m 17s):
And they don’t even realize that you’re connecting. Yeah.

2 (26m 20s):
I think that’s very true for the older set and for the younger set to carve out that time. I love to, to label it. I know you call it pet time. I call it like mommy and whatever the kid’s name is, SO mommy and Johnny time. And to really label that because in my, in my mind, the kid feels that gives you credit for it. But if you call it that, so I always start with, you know, I’m excited for her mommy and Johnny time, what are we gonna do today? Then you do you do it. Maybe you set a timer if you need too. And then when it’s over, you label it as well and say, I had so much fun, you know, playing Lego’s with you during mommy and Johnny time. I can’t wait for tomorrow. So to kind of build that into the nighttime routine really helps.

2 (27m 2s):
And it doesn’t have to be long. I mean, just 10 minutes or something, or even that is kind of enough.

0 (27m 7s):
Well, even, and I, when my, when my kids were, I don’t know up until probably the age of two. Right. And I, I mean, I remember doing it with my Cory and after they would have their bath, we would lotion him up. And I remember her walking one time into the room, my husband he’s much more methodical about things. And he was like, lotioning, Cory up. And here he was doing it like a, like a factory worker. Like he was, he was methodical, like arm, arm. And I was like, Whoa. And so I took over and I was lotioning them up. I had a love of music on, in the background. There’s some sense that lotion, and as I would like rub it into his hands, rub it into his arms.

0 (27m 49s):
It was like, it was more like a misuse would do. And I would make eye contact with them on. I was like, Oh, how does that feel? Good. Oh, it smells so good. Your skin is getting so soft right now. Like we’re not lotioning him up because we need to do it like a factory worker. And we’re preventing dye to dry chafing skin. It’s like he was missing the I love you ritual part of it. Right?

2 (28m 14s):
So it became a Q for Sleep for him. That’s a part of the other reason why you want to do a, you know, a pretty ritualized routine is because the body and the mind start to see those things as a cue for sleep. That’s why the Consistency part of it is

0 (28m 29s):
It is so important to me. It’s so true. It’s so important. So what happened to the three and a half year old?

2 (28m 36s):
So the, the, the great part of it was that the mom had not told his teachers at school that we we’re working on Sleep. And about a week after we had gotten into a really good place, she, the teacher was like, this is a different child. And she was like, I, I can’t even tell you, he’s incredibly more focused. He’s kind, he’s not, you know, out of control physically, there’s no more getting into other kids’ space. And he just had really changed his whole demeanor at school. And she, I think, I think if I remember correctly, the teacher had asked her if they put them on medication in the moms, like, no, we just got him to sleep.

2 (29m 19s):
So it was just, it was awesome. And I’ve had so many other clients like that who have really noticed a difference in their kids behavior, you know, when a car and it’s a snowball effect, because then, you know, first of all, when mom and dad are getting better sleep, so there are more at their best and the relationship improve so much because there isn’t that level of frustration, any more with the, you know, when you’re hurdling towards the bed time and counting down to minutes and you can’t wait to close that door and get out. And then that kid keeps coming out. There is no way that parents can stay calm. And so the, all of that stress transfers too, the kid, and then their There even more seeking that connection because their, their sensing mom’s mad at me.

2 (29m 59s):
And mom wants to get rid of me, you know, which we do in a way we want to go watch Netflix and drink wine and hang out with her husbands. Right. But the kids are sensing that. So it does require a lot of work up front to get things in place. But then, I mean, it sucks.

0 (30m 15s):
It was kind of a magic. It’s like a life of freedom for everyone. I mean, that’s why I always start with basic with Sleep specifically is a, literally the ticket to freedom. The fact that for 21, well, not 21 years, because the first year of Alex life, he literally slept like in the bed with me on top of my body. Like, that was why I became a Sleep Nazi, but 20 years from 8:00 PM until 7:00 AM. It’s adult time. Yeah. Like it’s the best. Yeah. I’m like put the time in upfront.

0 (30m 56s):
And then on the flip side also, it’s like these kids that, you know, the teacher notice this huge difference in a week. So he’s three and a half. He was walking around in a chronically sleep deprived state, which was causing him to not be aware. Like he didn’t have the executive functioning skills that as a wealth slept kid has a right. So he was It reading other people’s cues. He was in, he was a space in the theater. He was showing up as annoying disruptive. So then you become the kid who starts to expect other people to be annoyed by you. Right. That affects your self confidence.

0 (31m 37s):
It affects your ability to learn it. If it affects you socially, like you can’t make friends as easily. So, Hmm. These parents getting this under control with him at three and a half in that teacher seems such a big difference literally, that can change this kid’s path in life. Yeah.

2 (31m 55s):
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. And like I was saying earlier about that independence piece and the self-confidence, I mean, I’ve seen that before to where these kids who feel like they don’t, well, they don’t know that they don’t need mom and dad to go to sleep. You know, it’s a crutch almost. And so once we’ve given them that gift and they know I can just do this all by myself and, you know, roll over and go to sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it gives them a higher sense of self-confidence to tackle other things so that

0 (32m 24s):
Yes. Okay. So for anybody to listening to this, he was like, okay. Yes. You’ve just described to me in like four of those different scenarios, how do they find you, how they get in touch?

2 (32m 37s):
So the easiest thing is to go to my website and fill out

0 (32m 40s):
The form, the contact form on there. And I have some details about the services and how I kind of work with families, but it’s www dot Sleep for all of and For Sleep For F O R yes. It’s not the number for, for all So this is Cory Greenberg that has been with me and she’s a wealth of knowledge. And I love sending people to her because she helps families get results. She gets them the rest that, you know, we all need to be our best selves. And I just really encourage you guys, if Sleep is the issue.

0 (33m 24s):
If you guys are sleep deprived, if you’re kids are showing up in this way, that we’ve just described, In this episode, I really, really invite you to commit to getting your sleep issues figured out sooner, not even sooner, rather than later, like stat immediately ASAP. Every acronym I can think of M this is so important. This really could change the trajectory of your kids’ lives and the quality of your life and your entire household. So I hope this was helpful. You guys have a great week. Bye. Bye. Cory.

1 (34m 6s):
Have you read my book, the parent gap. Have you listened to my book? The parent gap? I doubt you’ve listened because my publisher hasn’t released it yet on an audible. However, I have the audio version of a parent gap that I would love to send to you. You, you can download it at Mastermind Parenting dot com For slash book that’s Mastermind care For slash book for your free audio version of the parents know that you’re welcome. I.

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by Randi Rubenstein