This week on the summer “Mastermind Mascot” convo, I’m talking about sleepaway camp and homesickness.
My 3 tips that I discuss are:
1. Meet them where they are.
2. What you focus on grows.
3. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
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About Randi Rubenstein
Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.
She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.
At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.
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Transcription
0 (0s):
Hey podcast listeners. I’m taking it a little pause from the podcast this summer, but I wanted to include some little short clips and tips and tools that I’ve been sharing in my private groups as a way to stay in touch this summer and enjoy
1 (16s):
My name’s Randy Rubenstein and welcome to the Mastermind Parenting. Podcast where we believe when your thoughts grow the conversations in your home flow.
0 (30s):
Hi guys, I am relaxing and making you guys’ a video for the little Mastermind Mascot series that I’m doing this summer. And I just made a little post in my private group about Camp and Homesickness cause I had some moms who have been talking a lot about Sleepaway camp and I had a mom ask what about Homesickness? And, and so I gave them three points to focus on when it comes to Camp and the worry about Homesickness. And I wanted to share it with you guys just in case it’s coming up for any of you. So just send our kids out into the world as a Mastermind Mascot, which are people who understand how to solve problems within themselves.
0 (1m 16s):
Those problems usually come to them in the form of big emotions, anxiety, overwhelm, negative emotions, something that all of us experience every single day, like half of the time, but we’re never taught about or told that we should feel anything other than happy. So a big job of being a Mastermind parents and a member of the Mastermind Parenting tribe and raising a Mastermind Mascot is we can do hard things. We can experience our emotions. So this is what I wanted to say. Number one, I want you to understand that you got to meet your kids where they are.
0 (1m 58s):
If they’re not talking about Homesickness, if they’re not bringing that up, then don’t bring it up. Like chances are they’re going to go to camp. They are going to be away from you. Maybe for the first time, they’re just going to be moments of sadness. There’s going to be moments of big emotions. There’s going to be moments where they have to lean into hard things and do hard things. And your job is just to believe in them. And if you, if you, if you really Meet them, where they are, then you’re just going to follow their lead. Don’t bring it up unless they bring it up. If you bring it up, you’re trying to preempt them from experiencing any negative emotion, which is actually controlling.
0 (2m 44s):
And they will feel that they will feel that. And you will accidentally possibly pour gasoline on the fire. So don’t try to preempt them or a negative emotion is just Meet them where they are. And if they’re not bringing it up, you don’t it up. Just talk about logistics, involved them in the Camp packing, make it fun to make it exciting and go to target. And Wal-Mart smell the body wash as they’re picking out and have them count out how many pairs of shorts they need to bring in how many ya’ll need to get. And I’m just involved them in the excitement and the process. Okay? So Meet them where they are. If they bring up, I don’t know if I want to go.
0 (3m 26s):
I all you do as empathize, which is a state, the obvious, mm. You want it to go? But now that it’s getting closer, you’re not so sure. Say more about that. Tell me, just be a sounding board. Anything they say to you, you’re going to mirror back and we’re just going to be an active listener. You’re just gonna Meet them where they are, but don’t try to control how they feel or convince them to feel differently. You think about yourself when somebody tries to control or tell you to feel differently like it has. How does that work for you? Like not great. Our kids are no different. So Meet them where they are. Number one, number two.
0 (4m 6s):
What you focus on grows. If you focus on the Homesickness, then you’re going to get a lot of Homesickness. If you focus on, we can do hard things. This is a new experience. It makes sense that your a little nervous. I get it. I’m nervous when I have new experiences too. I like to call that feeling scared, sighted. I’m a little scared, but I’m also excited. We can do hard things like that’s who we are. But talk to me about it. You can talk to me about anything. So What you focus on grows. You’re going to talk about that connection. You’re going to talk about the fact that we can do hard things. You’re going to talk about the excitement and that it’s okay to be a little scared.
0 (4m 48s):
Number three, your mindset. Check yourself. Before you wreck yourself. I like the goofy sayings because it makes my brain remember, and it helps me to master my mind. So how do you feel about simple weight? Camp are you nervous about it? Are you not sure about the decision? Don’t involve them in your process involving anxiety, you go get clean and clear and get yourself the support you need. You made this choice. Why did you make this choice? Why did you choose this? Camp believe in the camp. And like, for me, I believe in Camp I believe that it teaches our kids skills, but like, I can’t, I can’t teach them at home.
0 (5m 30s):
I think it’s super resilient resilience building. I think that they learned to make new friends, to do things without mom and dad around to do things like making their beds or not making their beds and the sheets coming up in the mattress, getting cold and showering or not showering, feeding themselves and are not feeding themselves. Like they have, they have to do so many things. It fosters so much growth and so much independence. And I think that it’s an opportunity for so much growth. So that’s my mindset. And I sold myself on that years ago that it’s not, if you go to Camp it’s where are you go to camp in?
0 (6m 11s):
Trust me, it has not been smooth sailing. My daughter tried four different camps, so, and then decided to take a year off and was like, I get it, mom. Camp’s important to you. I’m not a Camp kid. And so she took a year off and then they ended that summer. She’s like, I think I’m going back to camp next year. I was like, great. So those are the three things I have for you. Meet them where they are. What you focus on grows. So focus on the scared sight mint. We can do hard things, right? And Check yourself. Before you wreck yourself, get clean and clear yourself and don’t involve your kids in your own issues and anxiety and the things that you need to do to really get behind this decision that you’ve made.
0 (6m 56s):
I hope that was helpful. You guys have a great week.
1 (6m 60s):
Have you read my book, the parent gap? Have you listened to my book? The parent gap? I doubt you’ve listened. ’cause my publisher hasn’t released it yet on audible. However, I have the audio version of the parent gap that I would love to send to you. You can download it at Mastermind Parenting dot com For slash book that’s Mastermind care team.com/book for your free audio version of the parent that you are welcome. I.
