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In this episode, I discuss the documentary Screenagers and the silent screen addiction epidemic that we are facing as a society.

I had been wanting to attend a screening of Screenagers and was coincidentally invited to be a panelist at a private school in my home city. Needless to say, I had a pit in my stomach as I watched the reality of what we are facing in terms of screen addiction and how it affects our kids and ourselves, frankly.

The documentary validates much of what I teach when it comes to looking for a quick pleasure fix in the form of a screen. The movie includes the latest research in neuroscience and how screens affect our dopamine receptors in the same way as hard drugs. When our kids grow up on screens, we are literally hardwiring them for drug addiction. Super scary.

I happen to love technology myself. It’s the reason why I can create a podcast and share it with you. I struggle and worry about many of the issues mentioned in the film with my own kids so I could totally relate.  The conversation after the screening involved the feeling that we are immersed in uncharted territory when it comes to the effects of screens on our kids’ developing brains. Rules and regulations are needed and right now we are educating ourselves, increasing awareness and beginning the conversations that must happen to keep our kids safe in this new virtual reality surrounding their childhood.

 

I share my thoughts on how to handle adopting tech rules in your household as well as how to conduct a productive conversation with your kids about this uncharted subject matter. And as always remember that whether it’s technology, sleep, food, school work or whatever the subject concerning your family, the steps are to:

1. Adopt a set of rules
2. Repeat them often
3. Follow through consistently.

Technology rules that are productively communicated is a great example of how to set your family up for success rather than constantly fighting about this very present modern issue. I share some of my own family rules and conversations about technology in this podcast.

Topics covered: 

• Screenagers documentary https://www.screenagersmovie.com/
• Screen addiction https://nypost.com/2017/12/04/heres-how-to-tell-if-your-child-has-a-screen-addiction/
• Dopamine and screen addiction http://yourbrainhealth.com.au/dopamine-cause-digital-addiction/
• Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction is Hijacking Our Kids-and How to Break the Trance book quote: “Brain imaging research is showing that stimulating glowing screens are as dopaminergic (dopamine activating) to the brain’s pleasure center as sex. And a growing mountain of clinical research correlates screen tech with disorders like ADHD, addiction, anxiety, depression, increased aggression, and even psychosis. Most shocking of all, recent brain imaging studies conclusively show that excessive screen exposure can neurologically damage a young person’s developing brain in the same way that cocaine addiction can. “

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

In this episode, I discuss time-out; the punishment that many of us have used to replace spanking. We are often misguided to believe that it’s this progressive humane improvement when it’s potentially just as damaging emotionally as spanking is physically.

I know many parents are simply looking for resources to teach their kids the difference between right and wrong. The punishment model has rarely been questioned in years past and yet, all the researchers and experts tell us that it’s ineffective. It accomplishes the opposite of what we want – stronger connections with our kids and effective measures for teaching appropriate behavior. Punishments like time out and spanking are divisive, polarizing and teach our kids not to trust us.

One of my favorite new quotes that I coined recently is, “We don’t own our kids. Owning people is called slavery…not childhood.” Slavery is illegal. Our kids are little people.

 

Our job is to teach, guide and keep our little people safe. Punishment does not teach anything other than teaching our kids to lie to us and become sneaky when doing things that will result in a punishment. When we punish our kids rather than having productive communication, we teach them not to trust us.

The research and child development experts report that kids under the age of 12 do not change their future behavior based on punishment. They are actually incapable of doing so.

The REAL way we teach kids appropriate behavior is by establishing rules, repeating them often and following through consistently. When the rules are broken, we teach them how to become calm and calmly discuss the situation. When everyone is calm, we empathize and find out what’s underneath the misbehavior. Then we state the rules, set a boundary and possibly enforce a logical and related consequence. We follow through consistently.

This is the recipe that leads to changing the convos in your home even when your kids are behaving like total turkeys. Your welcome.

Topics covered: 

• Why time out needs a time-out article in Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201606/why-time-outs-need-time-out
• Wikipedia definition of time-out:  Time–out (also known as social exclusion) is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a person from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred.
• Punishment defined:the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.
• Dr. Ross Greene  http://drrossgreene.com/
• The Calm Down Corner: A time-out alternative

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

You’re aroused from your pleasant dream about margaritas on a Mexican beach by the screeches of, “MOMMY, I’M AWAKE!”

You roll over and look at the clock:  5:15AM.

No, just NO.

Last week it was 6AM, then a day later it was 5:50, the day after that it was 5:35.  And here you are, 5:15.  You think there’s no chance your toddler is going back to sleep, so you stumble into his room as quickly as your exhausted body will take you so he doesn’t wake up the whole house.

You turn on Mickey Mouse so you can at least mainline some coffee.  Give the kid a banana and try to doze on the couch until the rest of the world wakes up.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.  Early rising is one of the most common toddler sleep issues and it’s a tough nut to crack.

There are a hundred causes, and it’s often the last piece of the sleep puzzle when I work with families.   It can be stubborn in its persistence because by 5AM, your kids have slept many hours, and their “sleep tank” has been filled.  It doesn’t need much more.

So if they wake up around that time, it’s just harder to roll over and go back to sleep.  Lets break down the most common causes of early rising and how to fix them.

1. Bedtime is too late

This is the #1 cause and one that is counterintuitive.  Weissbluth was right when he said, “Sleep begets sleep;” I’ve seen it many times.  If your child goes to bed later than their natural rhythm expects and needs, they get less restorative sleep early in the night, leading to less restful sleep in the early AM hours.  A teenager is able to go to bed at midnight and wake up at noon, but a toddler…not so much.

Most toddlers should be in bed between 6 and 8 PM.  If they’re cranky, and can barely make it through dinner…make it 5:30PM. I know it sounds uncivilized and ridiculously early.  Trust me, you want to speed through their nighttime routine and get them to bed or you will pay in the morning as you wake before the roosters.

Many parents think they’ll wake for the day at 4AM if they shift bedtime that early.  It really doesn’t work that way. And it’s important to watch your child’s cues—tired trumps the clock every time.

2. Too much light, improper room temperature, or outside noise

Even a sliver of light entering your toddler’s eyes from outside can signal the brain that it’s time to wake up.  Rooms that get too chilly between 4 and 6AM when our core temperature is at its lowest can certainly cause a wake up.  Is there a trash truck or a pesky bird that’s making noise?  Get some thick black-out shades, set the room temp between 68 and 72, and think about a white noise machine or a loud fan to mask any outside noise. These are the easy ones to fix!

3. Insufficient or too much day sleep

Kids under 3 DEFINITELY still need a nap.  Most kids up to 4 need them.  If their growing brains and bodies don’t have the chance to rest during the day, they’re most likely going to bed overtired.  And over-tiredness at bedtime can easily cause early rising (see the reason I noted in #1).  On the other hand, if they’re making up for insufficient night sleep with a 3-4hr nap, you may be continuing the cycle of early rising—their sleep is distributed improperly.

Sigh…I know—it’s complicated.

These are the most common causes and solutions for early rising, but as I said, it’s not always an easy fix.  If you’re still doing the zombie shuffle after making these adjustments, I can help with a more in-depth look at what’s causing the issue and we can work together to make a plan to deal.

Cory Greenberg is a Certified Child Sleep Consultant and helps families from pregnancy through age 4 with a variety of sleep challenges.   

cory@sleepforallconsulting.com    http://www.sleepforallconsulting.com/

Dinnertime with my 3-year-old is a nightmare. She complains about EVERYTHING. She thinks I’m a short order cook. I make her what she asks for, then she won’t even take a bite and places her “order” for something different. I am fed up and frustrated. How can I get her to stop acting like a dictator so we can have a peaceful dinner as a family?

Dear Hard Working Mama,

I hear many stories just like yours so please know you are not alone. I can tell you will go to great lengths to feed and nourish your little people.

Unfortunately, contrary to what most folks think, this has probably turned into a situation that has to do with something besides food or nourishment for your little Napolean.

Yes, there are some exceptions. If you have a kiddo that is sensitive to textures or has a gag reflex, he may have sensory issues.  This can be easily resolved by working with a great Occupational Therapist.

 

The REAL issue going on for the other 93% of us is a little more challenging to resolve.

Mom, I’m going to need you to pull up your big girl panties and really listen up if you truly want to quit your job at the diner as a short order cook.

I respect you too much to tiptoe around the truth here so I’m just going to level with you straight up. You have to be willing to allow your kid to choose not to eat.

I know. I know. You have a million reasons why this will never work. Little David will get low blood sugar. Or Rachel will wake up in the middle of the night and disrupt the whole family’s sleep.

Three days. Seventy-two hours. That’s about how long it will usually take for a hungry dictator to turn back into a regular picky eating toddler without the unreasonable demands and power struggles.

That’s right. It’s normal for kids ten and younger to be picky.  They have an extremely unsophisticated palate. Foods with strong flavors overpower their highly attuned taste buds.

Once a kid begins to grow vertically from baby to toddler, their body starts to thin out.  During this stage, it’s not uncommon for food to become much less interesting even for your baby that was “such a good eater”.

Some helpful tips are to create rules around pantry surfing and to stay on top of snacks. If you allow your kid to fill up on pretzels and Goldfish in between meals, then be prepared for a picky kid that relies on “filler” foods to sustain them. Obviously, this is not ideal.

We want our kids to be well nourished and “to grow big and strong”. That’s our go to line when it comes to eating broccoli or spinach. It happens to be rooted in truth.

Now don’t worry. This is not about serving up fancy adult food and going all tough love on your kid.

No. No. You are going to use your mama brilliance combined with your common sense.  You will find a happy medium between kid and adult foods that work for the whole fam.

Okay, so you’ve got down the logistics, right? Well now comes the real challenge. We’re friends, right? I mean I’ve given you some really valuable and helpful info so far so please don’t shoot the messenger on this one.

The real obstacle has to do with your mindset. You have to be willing to stop arguing, pleading and dancing like a circus monkey for baby Napolean.

This is the hardest part. I wish it were easy for a loving mom like you to simply go cold turkey and stop giving in to unreasonable demands. No more jumping through hoops and then losing it when dinner number three is ungratefully snubbed.

I get it. You just want to get some decent food into your kid’s belly. It’s not easy to say, “Oh you don’t like anything on your plate tonight. Remember after dinner the kitchen is closed so keep that in mind when you’re choosing not to eat anything.”

Oh and don’t kill me but that’s just the beginning. You will also have to deal with a bad attitude, arguing and maybe even a meltdown.

It will be terrible for about a week as you consistently follow through; refusing to react or negotiate with your little terrorist.

It will take approximately one week to be promoted from short order cook at the diner to highly esteemed manager at Chili’s.

Your new job may not serve elegant French cuisine but you’re also not slaving away in a grease pit for pennies on the dollar.

It’s civilized. People listen to you. There’s something on the menu for everyone. And best of all you get to be the hero when you serve the chocolate molten cake!

Bon Appe’tit, Mama

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

Seventeen years ago I turned to my husband and declared, “We are either hiring a marriage counselor or taking a parenting class.” My sweet husband of four years looked at me like I was crazy at the time. Now I think even he would admit that it was one of the defining moments of our life together.

To back up a sec, you see our lives had sort of been on autopilot and well I’m not really an autopilot sort of gal.  We dated for two years and then he popped the big question. Typically, the next traditional step would have been engagement and then a joyous wedding a year later.

But oh no. My rebellious self decided I had never really dreamt of a big wedding and it seemed like a lot of planning for one expensive night a year in the future. It was fairly easy to convince my guy to blow the big wedding part off. He was like, “Whatever. Sounds good.”

 

The decision came after I stayed home from work one morning. By noon I had pretty much planned a tropical wedding. The hitch was that it would take place in three weeks …in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands.

Never a dull moment. My husband should’ve known then that life would always involve a curveball or two with yours truly.

So four years later in our living room surrounded by our toddler boy and our crying newborn baby girl, it wasn’t a huge surprise to my husband when I suggested something slightly off his radar. He was starting to get used to my declarations that might throw him for an unexpected loop. In less than five years we had gone from a jet-setting couple heading to elope on the beach to one having conversations involving therapists and parenting class.

I think it can be easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of diamond rings, wedding dresses, registries and parties. It’s a fun and memorable time for sure. AND I think it’s important for couples to remember what the wedding hoopla represents – an actual marriage and possibly building a family together.

Unfortunately, once you get past the wedding fun, the next stages of building a life together often comes with a lot of stress, especially when it comes to the baby in the baby carriage part. First of all, babies and little kids introduce a certain level of torture to their parents in the form of severe sleep deprivation. Yes, there is a reason this tactic is used on prisoners of war.

On top of all that, when you become parents, there is this weird moment when you realize that your husband had a totally different upbringing than yours. There are compromises to be made as you become your own unique little family. No small feat. This is what led to my declaration at 5:30 p.m. on a random day in 2001 about taking a parenting class or meeting with a marriage therapist. Just as I had wanted to fast track the engagement to get to the marriage, I wanted to get to the merging into one family chapter sooner rather than later. Somewhere deep within, I knew time was of the essence to figure this out and to truly be on the same page as parents.

I’m not sure that this is something you can really prepare for during the early stages of love and marriage. I think this is one of those learning through experience things and you have to actually experience becoming parents together before the magnitude really sinks in.

Growing and raising people together is a big deal. There are highs and lows like you’ve never experienced. There are more tests than you could’ve imagined and your patience will wear oh so completely thin.

I often tell people about that pivotal moment in our life together as a couple in the living room at 5:30 on a random day in 2001. I’m so grateful we decided to ask for help creating our family team. It’s a big deal to merge two separate childhoods into one. Weddings are beautiful and joyous and fun. AND building a family together as equal partners is the true bliss.

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

I know you put a helluva lot of pressure on yourself to raise responsible people with a strong work ethic.

You want your kids to push THEMSELVES to reach their highest potential academically and eventually in life.

Unfortunately, you aren’t always sure they are receiving the valuable lessons you take the time to impart on them.

Therefore, you never miss the opportunity to point out how important it is to strive for their personal best.

 

Unfortunately again, your carefully thought out speeches usually fall on deaf ears. Your kid shuts down just as you are really getting to the meat of the lesson.

You might feel like you are beating your head against the wall. Frustrating I know.

You know you only have a finite amount of time to instill these important skills and values.

You want everything for them. Every opportunity to live their best, happiest and fullest life.

They tell us to stop lecturing them.

We explain that we aren’t lecturing and simply pointing out how capable they truly are.

We tell them, “I’m your biggest cheerleader. I know you can do anything you set your mind to.”

They might think we are pointing out their inadequacies when all we are attempting to do is set them up for success.

Our real desire behind these lessons is that we believe success will bring feelings of confidence and pride.

We want them to achieve the positive feeling that comes from accomplishment.

Academic performance is quite often the area where we focus. We say, “School is your job.”

Here’s the rub…not only are these well intended life lessons almost never taken in, they can cause long term damage to our most important relationships.

Kids frequently perceive our well intended words to be a personal attack.

Our carefully chosen teachings could even leave them with a belief that we don’t think they are capable of figuring things out for themselves.

This will accomplish the exact opposite of what we intended.

The truth is that lasting self confidence and self worth don’t actually come from trophies, awards and resume’ builders.

You see, if we depend on external measures to feel good inside, we become beholden on something outside ourselves to feel good.

True confidence and happiness is an inside job.

Changing the conversation in our homes to help our kids show up as their best selves out in the world involves opportunities that extend beyond academic performance.

When our kids feel valuable as a contributing member at home and beyond, this is how they build confidence from the inside out.

Have you ever wondered how you could support your kids to earn that sense of accomplishment through work outside of school?

I wanna tell you about something super cool that will hopefully become available to teens and families across America.

Skratch is a revolutionary company that I’ve recently learned about. It’s an app that connects teenagers with work opportunities within their own communities. Quite often it becomes an opportunity for big kids to mentor little kids by sharing their unique skill set like math tutoring, piano or guitar lessons and babysitting.

It provides an opportunity for teens to learn lots of amazing life lessons through real life experiences while helping a parent out with affordable and convenient teen labor.

Learning through real life experience. Feeling a sense of accomplishment. Growing confidence and feeling valuable as a hard working human. Good stuff.

Skratch is up to great things. It is launching in Dallas and will hopefully be available in all of our communities soon.

Skratch invited me to be a speaker on a panel in Dallas this weekend.

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

My son, Cory (11), called me all verklempt the other morning on his 1st day back to school after winter break. He couldn’t find his soccer cleats and shin guards.

The team had an “away” game and they would be leaving school at 2:45PM to drive  by school bus to the game. “Could I search high and low and bring the stuff he needed up to school ASAP???”

I didn’t correspond with him again after that morning call. I didn’t bring his stuff. I didn’t even look for it.

Cory had promised the night before school was back in session that everything was cleaned out (room, locker, backpack), good to go in the morning & ready to start a fresh semester.

Then he calls me scrambling in the AM. I had a pIt in my stomach anytime the thought of his little shin-guard and cleat-less self  at the game entered my brain. ALL. DAY. LONG.

As moms, we don’t want our little people to suffer AND that’s when they get to learn from their greatest teacher…natural consequences.

I called him at 3pm. He was on the bus. He was happy. He said he thought his stuff was in his locker at school but he remembered it was in his sport’s bag at home. He borrowed stuff from another player that wasn’t playing in today’s game.

He figured it out. But this is not the big win.

The win is that I resisted swooping in to save the day and then feeling resentful. When I fix my kids’ screw ups, I usually find myself in lecture mode giving them the big coulda/shoulda/woulda lesson.

NEWSFLASH: These lessons are totally unproductive and really piss off our kids rather than teaching the important life lessons we want them to know.

I gave him the space to freak out AND figure it out. I didn’t solve the problem or add to his stress by browbeating him about being human and making a mistake. To do so would have been hypocritical. Ask my husband – he will happily tell you about all the mistakes I make on the daily.

Not fixing is a hard thing to do as a mom. Yay me❤

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com

Recently, my family enjoyed a tropical and lush vacation in the Bahamas. The water was crystal clear, the weather was similar to a perfect day in San Diego and the adult naps were plentiful.

The reason I’m referring to our winter Bahamian getaway as a vacation and not a trip is because my children are 19, 16 and 11.  I’m joking! Well, sort of. I will share with you my top 3 best tips to enjoying your next out of town family getaway even if you still have little people tugging on your leg 24/7.

First of all, can we establish that there is a big difference between a vacation and a trip? A vacation involves rest and replenishment. A trip involves taking your family to a different geographical location and often includes even more work for the mama than your typical daily routine at home. This is the scenario we want to avoid at all costs. It’s exhausting, not fair and no fun for anyone. Because as we all know, an overworked and exhausted mom frequently finds herself in the parent gap; the gap between the parent you want to be and the one you currently are when you are exhausted and your kids are getting on your last nerve.

Chances are, you’ve dropped a decent amount of cash on this trip as well as the time it took to plan and travel to the divine destination in hopes of making special memories. So without further ado, here are my top 3 tips to make the most out of your memorable family getaway:

Tip #1: Set Realistic Expectations – “Less is More”

I know you have that fantasy of filling photo albums with amazing memories doing tons of super cool activities in exotic locations. However, trust me when I tell you that playing Julie, the cruise director from The Loveboat, will never amount to that with little kids. Someone will always have a tummy-ache or a tantrum as you are about to embark upon your adventurous day. You will find yourself frustrated, disappointed and maybe even feeling downright resentful. No fun.

The memories happen during the in between moments in life. That $1000 day involving swimming with dolphins usually ends in a hunt for the pharmacy carrying Calamine lotion needed to treat the skin rash your little one with the sensitive skin broke out in from the extra salty water.

Schedule a basic activity like playing on the beach or visiting a pretty park in the morning. In the afternoon, run your lil guys like puppies before an early dinner.

Tip #2: Prioritize sleep

Little people and big people require lots of sleep. Period. Little kids are exhausting to care for and when they are exhausted, they are simply…No. Fun. At. All.

Flexibility in terms of naps and bedtime schedules sounds great in theory and is usually a nightmare in reality. Prioritize rest at all costs. Plan a good ol’ fashioned siesta after lunch for the whole familia. If your teeny ones are beyond the napping phase, this is your green light to hook them up with a great Disney flick while mom and dad read, rest and regroup.

Enjoy an EARLY casual dinner and honor the same nightly ritual as you do at home; bath, books and bedtime before 8:30PM.

Put yourself to sleep by 10:30PM as well. I know you don’t want to. Do it anyway.

Tip #3: Say No Way to Martyr-hood

In our society, there is a phenomenon regarding women doing too much for others and not giving the same love and nurturing to ourselves. This is especially prevalent for women caring for kiddos. We do EVERYTHING. Subconsciously, we think it’s our job to think, plan and do it all. Stop doing this immediately. Newsflash: There is a better way and it takes the martyr out of motherhood.

Creating a family team at home and on vacation is key. Delegate and teach your people how to fish and make meals for life rather than constantly providing a bunch of fish dinners. Yes, it takes more time to teach and encourage your 3-year old to dress herself. Yes, it is frustrating that you have to spell out the small daily tasks and responsibilities to your partner. Take a deep breath, direct, teach and ask for what you need.

Embrace your role as the pack leader AND support every valuable member of your team by delegating tasks small and large.  Allowing each individual to add to the collective whole builds confidence and connection.

This is the final tip that will strengthen your family’s foundation no matter where you find yourself geographically – at home or in an exotic rainforest. Spending time together as a cohesive team will have you vacationing together for years to come and creating precious memories for a lifetime.

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.

We want our kids to appreciate all we do for them.

We want them to grow up feeling grateful for all the opportunities they have been given.

Like a great education and living in a nice house.

Their basic needs are not only met but we exceed their expectations on the daily.

You are a parent that over-delivers in pretty much every way when it comes to your kiddos.

You prioritize your role as mom or dad above all else in your life.

Your end game involves raising good people.

You want your kids to be kind, confident, self motivated and well…not jerky.

So when our kiddos talk back, have messy rooms and expect us to buy them stuff just because…

We feel frustrated and maybe even angry.

We lecture about not being spoiled and having a hard work ethic.

We worry that their current behavior is evidence that they are not going to turn out the way we hope.

The problem is that lectures are ineffective teaching lessons in the game of life.

Kids learn by what they SEE rather than from the words they hear.

So what’s the solution?

How do we instill the character defining lessons we deeply want our kids to live by?

The answer is simple.

 

Stop talking about it.

JUST. DO. IT.

Live by the values you aim to teach.

Show your kids how grateful you are for them and this beautiful life.

Tell them each and every day how THEY are your gift.

Work hard and model a strong work ethic each and every day.

Want your kiddos to honor and respect you?

Treat your kids with honor and respect by respecting the way kids effectively learn.

Kids learn by what WE behave rather than by telling them how they SHOULD behave.

Anytime you witness your kids working hard on a project or showing up as a kind friend, son, or brother tell them that they are a person of good character.

Be a mirror for all of your child’s accomplishments and remind her to feel proud and celebrate herself.

The way to teach our kids gratitude and to ward off entitlement is not through words and lectures.

It’s by modeling the behavior you want from them.

Be an example rather than sharing your opinions.

That’s the simple solution.

Tell your kids that you hit the jackpot because THEY were born.

I am incredibly grateful for each and every parent in this trailblazing tribe learning how to improve the conversations in your home and parenting with empathy rather than lecturing.

Together we are changing the world.

One. Family. At. A. Time.

ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow”.

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.