[00:00:00] Randi Rubenstein: My name is Randi Rubenstein, and welcome to the Mastermind Parenting Podcast. At Mastermind Parenting, we’re on a mission to support strong-willed kids and the families that love them. 

Hi, Yetta. How are you?

[00:00:13] Yetta Myrick: I’m great, Randi. Thanks for having me.

[00:00:16] Randi Rubenstein: Okay. Listeners, we’re going to have a conversation, me and my friend slash colleague Yetta, and we don’t know each other well, but we know each other a little bit. We’ve been in a program together. We share the same coach. And so I’ve seen, we’ve seen each other cry, but we don’t know each other’s stories.

And so I invited, I invited Yetta on because I could tell she’s got a good story and she is a super committed, passionate mom. And I really invited you on because I want to know, I was like, inquiring minds need to know. I need to know more about this Yetta woman who seems like she is doing all these amazing things.

And I love how I’ve heard you speak about your son and, um, I can just tell how passionate you are. And so, yeah. I just wanted you to, I, I, my, my curious self wanted to have you on cause I need to know all the details. I want to know what made you the you you are today. Tell me, tell me all the things.

[00:01:30] Yetta Myrick: No, I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel myself getting full as you, um, you say that, um, it’s been a, it’s been a long journey. I have a now 20 year old, as we record, he will be 21 in September, um, of 2024. Um, son who was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and an intellectual disability. We did not get those diagnosis all at the same time. And even before we got to the autism diagnosis, there was an expressive receptive speech delay, um, that was diagnosed first when he was about two and a half.

Um, and you know, I am based in DC. Did not know how to connect in with early intervention services, but found a speech and language pathologist. But she was over the line in Montgomery County, Maryland, she didn’t even know how to access, um, early intervention in DC because these systems can be challenging to navigate as I’m sure many families who are listening know.

And so, um. I went to, I took my son for a well child visit. And I said, yeah, my son’s seeing a speech and language pathologist. She said she thinks he may be autistic and basically, like, shut me down. She was like, Mom, you can’t just let anyone diagnose your child. And I did not say anything to my son’s doctor that day. It delayed me anywhere from six to nine months. 

Um, and then the child care center where he was, where he was going, um, they had changed over hands. And at that point they were doing child fine and like really pushing in and they identified my son, so the social worker, you know, said, you know, mom, you know, we’ve identified your child. We think your baby needs a little bit more help and said, call the care center.

They don’t, they didn’t say what care center stand for. There was no, um, no website. Like I was like online, like looking for the care center, could not find anything. Um, but made the appointment, went in for the appointment and, um, yeah, that’s kind of like how we got started. Had a, you know, they did evaluations, had, you know, psychologists went to the school and observed, um, there’s a special educator who did evaluations. and then there was also an occupational therapy evaluation cause there was a lot of sensory stuff going on as well. 

And so, um, Um, it was, it was a lot to be managing and not really know what to do. And it was another mom, actually a woman who owned, um, the beauty shop where I was going. Her daughter had some global, um, disability things going on, genetic stuff, um, hearing loss. So it wasn’t autism. Um, and so she had mentioned, um, possibly getting an advocate. And somehow I got connected, but it was like I would have had to pay for that advocate. 

DC at the time, and this entity still exists, Advocates for Justice of Education. It’s a parent training and information center for DC, and every state has at least one parent training information center. They get a small bit of money from the U. S. Department of Education to serve in this capacity. And so, I ended up connecting with AJE, and they got an advocate, and she went to the meeting with me.

And so, my son was determined to meet criteria for autism. Um, and basically they were going to place him in an autism classroom. I knew kind of intuitively that that I wanted to go see it first. You know, fast forward, we went, I went, I saw it, met the teachers, seemed really nice. And I was like, okay, I can now sign off on his IEP as individualized education plan or program because in states it’s different, um, the language that they use. Um, and so he was then placed in that program. 

The challenge was I quickly found, um, that they were not meeting his needs I managed. So in the meantime, while we were doing school evaluation, also was doing, um, evaluations, you know, on the medical side of things, um, ended up at Children’s National Hospital, which is our local children’s hospital here. And, um, ended up seeing a neurologist. My son had, um, a sedated ABR to check his hearing. So they put him to sleep for that. They did EEGs, put him to sleep for that. Like it was a lot of stuff.

[00:06:14] Randi Rubenstein: And they, and they put him to sleep. They put him to sleep because he wouldn’t have been able to tolerate it. 

[00:06:19] Yetta Myrick: Would not, but he would not been able to tolerate it. Yep. 100% Randi. Like it was just too much. And that’s a lot to like witness like your little baby. I mean, he’s like this point like three, you know, three and a half, like, like being put to sleep. It was, it was rough, not gonna lie. Um, but I, I did it.

So after all of that, we ended up. with the neurologist saying, you know, we have a center for autism, like to, you know, connect you with them. Ended up at the center for autism, had an amazing, um, psychologist. I actually just emailed her the other day to send her a note. Um, cause when I love you is forever and, um, just to check

[00:07:00] Randi Rubenstein: Those, those early helper, helpers or really any of the helpers that in, when you have a kid that you’re, you know, like, you’re advocating and you don’t know what they need yet, but you’re just searching for all the helpers. And when those helpers come your way, it’s like forever. We just, we’re just so grateful. So I completely connect with 

[00:07:25] Yetta Myrick: a hundred percent. Yeah. And so, um, we got in to see her and it was like, here is all the evaluations. Like when they tell you to. It’s a lot of paperwork, right? When they tell you send in those evaluations, things that you have, things that you might not even understand what they are, send that stuff in. Make sure you have copies, right? Obviously, or scan. 

And so we got to her and she was like, yes, he’s autistic. Um, and she was like, okay, what he needs is ABA, which is applied behavioral analysis. Um, She’s like, you know, he basically needs a system that is going to, you know, support him in a way where he is learning in a methodical way where he’s being positively reinforced all the things. 

And so I’ve recognized right now, cause I want to acknowledge the autistic self advocates in the community who are like ABA is a devil, like there was a lot of harm done to them. I’ve recognized that. What I will also say is I also managed to get into a training where they focused on verbal behavior ABA and it was not the discrete trial ABA that many of the autistic self advocates, um, were subjected to. And 

[00:08:44] Randi Rubenstein: Let’s pause. Let’s pause because, because I know because you’ve been advocating, you have been a mama warrior for 20 years. And so, you know, all the acronyms and all the ways that you have. Educated yourself because you’ve been on the front lines fighting for your son. And as ever, as our listeners will hear all the other children too, you’ve been on the front lines fighting for, because y’all wait till you hear Yetta’s, um, bio, I mean, this woman doesn’t stop and she didn’t just stop when it came to her son. She’s the kind of mom that said Okay, everything I have learned, I have to, I have to share, I have to do more. Like, you know, it’s a lot being the mom of an autistic child, but then you took it a step further. 

So I just want to pause for you because it’s like my husband said to me all the years ago Wait, you’re starting a business? Like why? And I was like, because it just feels selfish not to share the things that we have learned and we’re doing at home with other people who are where we used to be.

And so I want to pause for you because you could have just said, Okay. I advocated for my son. I did all those hard things. I got through those hard years. I, I, I sought resource after resource. I educated myself. I did everything I could for my child, you have also taken it forth for all the other children you could affect as well. So.

[00:10:42] Yetta Myrick: I appreciate you saying that. 

[00:10:44] Randi Rubenstein: So ABA and this debate, which I’m familiar with, but I have a feeling most people are not. ABA stands for Applied Behavior Analysis and the, you know, it used to just be, you know, And it still in many places is insurance still considers it the treatment for autism, right? And um, 

[00:11:11] Yetta Myrick: I can say part of that reason, Is because of the research that’s behind the ABA. Like it’s one of the most researched, um, I don’t like to say treatments. I don’t like to use that language, but one of the methodologies, right. Um, offerings to support, um, autistic individuals. I mean, and that’s why, right. There’s science behind it.

[00:11:36] Randi Rubenstein: Yeah. But the, the, the, the, you know, the debate really is, is that a lot of the kids have grown up and now they are challenging, um, some of the earlier methods, what I’m getting from you is that the methodology has been improved upon, but some of the earlier methods, which if anybody’s, did you ever watch the show Parenthood?

[00:12:00] Yetta Myrick: I did not. 

[00:12:01] Randi Rubenstein: I don’t know if you 

[00:12:01] Yetta Myrick: know about it though. I know about

[00:12:03] Randi Rubenstein: Oh my gosh. It’s my favorite show of all time. You’ve got to watch it. It’s amazing. I like, you’re welcome. Eight seasons and all your free time. You can start binging Parenthood.

[00:12:14] Yetta Myrick: my gosh.

[00:12:15] Randi Rubenstein: Um, so, but there’s a, there’s an ABA therapist, um, what’s her name with the baby voice from Friday Night Lights? Anyway, she’s, she’s really, I can’t remember her, the actor’s name, but she is the, she is the ABA therapist. They don’t ever say ABA, but you know she’s ABA because she’s constantly like, it’s all about him doing the things for Skittles and doing the things for stickers. So it’s very, you know, it’s, it was very much a reward system.

And, um. And so yeah, so if anyone wants to think about ABA, it’s kind of that, you know, the, the old school methodology was a lot about you do this and then you get a sticker, then you get a piece of candy or then you get, you know, and so it was a, it was a reward model. Would you disagree with that or add to that?

[00:13:05] Yetta Myrick: I would not disagree with that at all. And the reality is like, that’s what they were offering initially. And I went to a training and got a quick education that that was not, um, the way. And so, um, I learned about VB or verbal behavior, ABA, where the, the most powerful thing, and I’m not saying there isn’t reinforcement, but the most powerful thing is the MAND.

So M A N D, um, which in layman’s terms is terms. I talk, I get right. And so it’s the individual that the child, right? The autistic individual, whoever the case may be, is leading um, the intervention. That’s the word I wanted. Intervention. Um, not necessarily, um, being told, okay, this is what we need you to do, but you really want to focus on what the individual is into and then help to build skills based on, um, what they’re interested in.

And so 

[00:14:04] Randi Rubenstein: do you have like a story of like how that looked in real life when you were learning about this and then you would do it with your son? Do you have any stories?

[00:14:13] Yetta Myrick: I mean, some of it, literally like on a basic level, if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted like his lemonade or, or whatever, like I would hold, I would like, he wanted it. I’m really excited that he, he, that he wants it. Right. Or like I would model, you want lemonade. Right.

And he also had PECS, which is picture exchange communication as well. Um, for his, his speech to help. So like, even if it’s, I want lemonade. Right. And reinforcing that, like that can be a way, you know, really giving them high praise around that. So that can be like very simple level. 

[00:14:49] Randi Rubenstein: Can you like play that out for us? So he, how do you know he wants lemonade?

[00:14:55] Yetta Myrick: So he might, he might be like pointing to the lemonade or he might be like going to the refrigerator and I’m like, do you want lemonade? And he’s looking, he’s like looking at me and I’m like, no where he’s reaching for the lemonade, like a little guy, my son. Right at this moment in time. I would then like, model with the, with the pecs, his, his, which are like these picture cards.

So he had a, yeah, so it had like, I want on it and then it would have lemonade because I would have like his most preferred, like, what does he want to drink? He loves lemonade to this day. Um, so he would have to then like present me, I would put it back, I would show him and he would put, I want lemonade. 

Um, so that could be a way like in the, in the early days as the language developed, he, you know, he might be like, he might just say lemonade. Like at this point he’s saying lemonade. Um, and so I then would say, okay, I hear you. I want lemonade. Can you say, you know, say I want lemonade. And he would then say, I want lemonade. Um, and that’d be like, Oh great. You want lemonade? Here you go. Here’s in the, and like the lemonade is that reinforcer because that’s what he wants. Right. 

So that’s like, that’s simple level. When he got into his, in his placement where the folks like knew way more about the verbal behavior ABA, they would like, he is an artist now, he likes to draw. So, like, they had activities where they were art based. 

I remember there being like this whole thing. There was this guy, um, at the school who worked with him. And I remember he, Okay. My son really was into tails. Like, think about like Tigger and his long tail or like any, like anything with a long tail.

And so they had found like at the school, like these, these tails that could be like linked on like so they would like play around like he would like lift them up and he would have a tail like or like I remember both of them would have a tail and like my son wanted kangaroo jump so like there was like a kangaroo tail like it was a whole thing. 

So again it’s like you really are engaging them and in their world to, like, communicate with you, right? But it’s like you have to, be willing to, like, meet them where they are and be creative and watch and see how best to, like, bring that out.

[00:17:24] Randi Rubenstein: Hmm. I love, okay, so I love that even, because a lot of times parents are worried that their kids aren’t verbal, right? Like, you know, they call it a spectrum for a reason, right? And so I think that, you know, if, even if you don’t have a child that has been diagnosed with autism, if you have a child that is not as verbal as you, you think they should be developmentally or if they seem like they are a bit delayed 

Like I love this lemonade example because you met him where he was and you like baby stepped it. So he could build this so he could build the skills and then once he got it, right, and you weren’t like, you’re not getting the lemonade till you say the whole sentence. Like what you, you know, I teach what you focus on grows. So you would focus on the, yeah, lemonade. Okay. And I want lemonade, but you’re giving him the lemonade. And then when he got one more word, you’re like, look at you.

So the verbal reinforcement is exactly the same thing I teach. What we focus on grows. So instead of focusing on that the kid isn’t getting a skittle because they didn’t say the whole sentence or they didn’t do the thing exactly, you’re celebrating all the tiny wins along the way and meeting him where he is. It’s so respectful and I mean, it takes a lot of patience, right? Um, but it’s just so respectful. It’s really beautiful, um, to do, to, to help a nonverbal child to learn the skills, right? 

So we just have kids, all the time, I’m teaching parents, Oh, what are you making this behavior mean? It sounds to me like there’s just some lagging skills here. So if we just constantly punish a kid because they didn’t have the skill to control how they felt on the inside, rather than putting our energy and our bandwidth on, Oh, you got frustrated in your body. So what can we do next time? Right? 

Like meeting the child where they are to learn better skills, to learn, improve skills, and then focusing on, you know, it’s like whenever I’ve taught this concept of, which I don’t teach it a lot because people confuse it, about the calm down spot. Which is really teaching your, it’s different than time out because the, what we’re teaching a kid is when you feel out of control on the inside, you always have this beautiful thing that you can do for yourself. You can go and you can get yourself calm. And, and the ultimate goal is to find the calm down spot from within. 

And when my son was my, actually my youngest son, who was just a typical developing kid, but when he was about two and a half, he used to get, he was having, he went through about six months where he just was having a hard time sitting at the table for dinner. Like sitting at the table without messing with other people’s experience. You know, he was, he was so much younger and he was so excited to have all of his favorite people at one table. He wasn’t in school yet. So his brother, his sister were home, his dad was home, everyone was home. 

And it was like, he, you know, he was two and a half. He was a toddler. So he wasn’t that interested in eating at 6:00 or 6:30 at night. And so he just wanted to play. So he was constantly like disruptive at dinner. 

So I would, I would send him to his little calm down spot, which he chose the spot. And it was like my dog bed right there, kind of in our den, you know? So it was like next to, and the dog bed had all these, like it had a pile of stuffed animals. Cause my dog would steal stuffed animals from my kids and then they just accumulated. So it was this big dog bed with stuffed animals. 

So Cory would go over there and, and I would say, it looks like you need to go and get yourself calm. And when you’re calm, come on back. Um, so you’re having a hard time controlling your body here at the table and it’s dinnertime. And so, um, when he would, you know, when he would go, I’m calm mommy, you know, calm. And I’d go over there and, or I, I’d say, it doesn’t sound like you’re calm yet. Try and sniff in the flowers and blow out the birthday candles. Try it again. And then tell me if you’re calm. And so he’d do that and he’d go, I’m calm mommy. And the first thing I would say to him is, look at you. You calmed your body down. That can be hard to do. Way to go. 

So it was again, right? Like I’m not going to focus on, well, when you can’t control your body, you’re going to be sent away. And so you need to remember this for next time and blah, blah, blah. Like a little kid doesn’t understand that they’re not learning cause and effect in that way. It’s too many words. The concepts are too much. 

But when you, you, you allow a kid to experience, Oh, I did the thing. And then you positively reinforce verbally that they did the thing, like that’s enough. We don’t have to give them a skittle. We don’t have to withhold a skittle, right? That verbal reinforcement is the thing they’re looking for because the truth is, is they just want to please us. That lemonade example,

[00:22:55] Yetta Myrick: I appreciate, you sharing that.

[00:22:58] Randi Rubenstein: Yeah, it’s, it’s like that lemonade example to me is just such a real life tangible example that people can, can, can take something from and, and use at home. Right? Like, like I think it’s important, you know, all the advocacy work that you do is, is, is huge. We’ve got to make sure our kids are in the right schools and receiving the resources that are going to help their brains learn.

Um, and they’re home with us a lot of the time too. And I think so often parents feel like, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do it. I haven’t been trained in this. And you’re an example of a mom who was like, yeah, he’s going to be with me in this house a lot of the time. So whatever they’re doing with him out there, I got to reinforce here. Right. 

And, and, and I think that marriage of, of, I’m not just going to send my kid to school or to OT or to work with a specialist. I’m going to find out what methods they’re using out there so that I can make sure and reinforce and use those same methods and learn as much as I can at home when they’re with me.

[00:24:17] Yetta Myrick: Yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, I knew regardless of whether my son was going to be autistic or not, that I was going to be an involved parent. Like that was, I was going to be the star parent, like hands down. Um, what I will say happened very quickly because of who I am and how I move in the world. Like, I basically became the case manager.

So we didn’t just have, and fortunately, right, like, I recognize this is not everyone’s situation. It depends on what resources available in your cities and states out there listening. But, you know, we were able to do services in school as well as, um, outside, um, depending on the placement. And there are many times where I might not have felt as competent, but I keep asking questions. Okay, they’re doing this at school. He might not be doing this for me here. What can I do at home? I’ve tried it this way and be willing to ask and partner, right? 

The other thing too, is like, you might be feeling like you’re alone, but you really are not. Um, there, there are so many resources out here. You just have to be willing to ask and to look for it, right? 

I’ve recognized that for some people, diagnosis might be like the end of the world. I want to like acknowledge that. For me, when I got to the autism diagnosis, that was not the case. I was more devastated by the expressive receptive speech delay. By the time I got to the autism diagnosis, I actually felt a sense of relief because I said, okay, now I have a label to put on this and this can help me to access resources and services. 

You go through these processes, processes, it depends on like where you are, what your thoughts are around, um, these diagnosis, these diagnoses. But again, you have to really give yourself grace and like, be willing to ask for help, right? And like, keep asking and keep knocking on doors because there, there are people out here who want to help you and support you as you navigate.

[00:26:22] Randi Rubenstein: I think that’s why I really wanted you on because I think a lot, I mean, I’m thinking about a specific mom that I know, um, who’s actually a coworker of my husband’s, um, for many, many, many years. And she, she just was at a crossroads because her youngest child, who I believe he’s five Five or six now and he’s not verbal and she had to make a decision She said I can’t find the right school for him. He’s not speaking and I either have to quit my job or I have to work from home. It turned out that she made it work and she’s working from home um, but frankly, she’s been beating her head against the wall trying to find the right resources. 

And, you know, I don’t remember who I heard this from at some point, but it was like, stop trying to create everything from scratch. Find someone who’s doing what you want to do and then learn from them, copy them. And so I’m thinking, you’ve been at this for 20 years. It’s like, even like the hack of, I mean, just the, the time suck of sitting at those IEP meetings, which I’ve just heard so many. You know, nightmare stories about that.

Like, even like, no, you’re going to do, I call it pack leaders have a, have a plan. We pre plan. We plan we start with our mindset and then we come up with what, what is our intention? What do we want to happen? What do I need to do ahead of time? So whether it’s when you’re going into, you know, the winter break holiday and you’re gonna have all these open ended days and you’ve got kids that you, you have to, you know, you have to take care of and try to entertain in some way, go in with a plan.

If you’re going into an IEP meeting, go in with a plan, do some of that planning ahead of time. Um, it doesn’t take that much time and it’ll save you so much time when, and stop you from, I think, beating your head against the wall when the meeting just seems never ending. You know, like you can accomplish so much more. Um, so I love that tip. 

I also want to back up and say, will you explain the thing that had you before you got the autism, you keep using this terminology and I, I’m not familiar 

[00:28:49] Yetta Myrick: Oh, the expressive. So it was expressive, receptive, speech delay. So, so basically his language was delayed both expressively and receptively. So how he was taking in information and also how he would like express, like expressing, like when we talk, right. And so, um, that was the first diagnosis that I got from the speech and language pathologist. Um, and she was the one again, who then was like, I think he’s autistic. And then, follow up with your doctor. And so, because she knew that there were more resources I could access,

[00:29:30] Randi Rubenstein: so what were you seeing at home where you like is, does this kid even 

[00:29:35] Yetta Myrick: He, my son was not talking. He was not talking. I mean, I knew that he understood, but like he, he was, he was not talking. There was no mama, there was no dad, dad, there was like, there, there was no, he was just like making his little noises. Like he was, my child was not speaking.

[00:29:52] Randi Rubenstein: If you were like, you know, okay, go put your socks in the dirty clothes or go, you know, or pick that towel up. Where does the towel go? Like if you were trying to give him little directions, could he do the thing that you were asking him to do? Could he take that in and then follow small commands?

[00:30:10] Yetta Myrick: You really, you’re really taking me back, Randi. I want say I would have to say it more than once. Um, it wasn’t necessarily in the first try. I was very fortunate when my son was little up until the age of seven that my grandmother, so my, my maternal grandmother was still alive. And so he was with her a lot of the time too. And so I think having her and then also my mom, like my dad and my brother, like we all, like my son has a village of people. 

And so even with these diagnoses, right? Like, there is still an expectation that my son will be able to do certain things. Um, so he can make his bed. He could, you know what I mean? He helps, he basically, he takes out the trash. He can load up the dishwasher, start the dishwasher. He gets his breakfast in the morning, packs his lunch, come shower, get dressed. Like we have built skills up over the years so that he can do that. Right. 

Um, but going back to, to your question, like, the language, him not, him not speaking primarily and kind of like being in his own little world and always seeming to be like, be on the go, really couldn’t sit still. Like he would sit still like when he was eating. Like we put him in his chair, but like he was just kind of like always on the go or like we’ll watch TV and be like standing there and kind of like moving. 

When you look at the developmental milestones, and I am now. And have been since 2016, the CDC, so the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Act Early Ambassador to D.C. for their Learn the Signs Act Early Program. And we have free resources for families to be looking at their, um, looking at developmental milestones and like going to providers and talking to their doctors saying, hey, my child might not be, here at this point, right? Because everybody needs to be watching and, and, and, and observing, right? And, and celebrating and playing with their children, right? 

Um, those materials did not exist when my son was a little guy. And I truly believe that they had have been. When that nurse said to me, mom, you can’t just let anyone diagnose your child. I would have said, yeah, I hear you, but here’s this age checklist. And my son is doing this, this, this, this, but he’s not doing this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. So I need a referral, right? But I didn’t know that because they, those materials didn’t exist at that point.

HOW TO REACH

[00:32:45] Randi Rubenstein: So if somebody is like, okay, I’m resonating with this, I don’t want to reinvent the wheel. I feel overwhelmed. I don’t even know where to start or who to reach out to. Should they come to your website? Should they sign up for your newsletter? Like how can they, if they’re like, I want to copy what Yetta has done and learn from her, what do they, how do they get in touch with you about that?

[00:33:08] Yetta Myrick: Yeah. I appreciate that. Yeah. I would say, um, come to DC autism parents website, and it literally is DC autism parents with an S. org. There are resources there. You can sign up for the newsletter. I also have a video series that comes out weekly. We’re recording right now in the summer. I do take a break because I think that’s important in the summer, but the video series will be back, um, in September. 

And basically, if you’re signing up for the newsletter, you will get a weekly email with a video in your, in your inbox. Um, I’m covering, you know, my child was newly diagnosed and what do I do? What is a parent training and information center? What can they help me with? 

So yeah, so there are a number of, um, resources and things that I’ve just learned over the years. And it’s just like, how do I take this information and share it out with more families. I’m only one person. Um, but I want to be able to reach more families. And so those are my ways right now that I’m doing that. 

 I’ve been doing this for so long, and the reality is only in the past few years have I really gotten paid to do this work, maybe since 2016. Um, and so a lot of this stuff I have done for free, but I have a, I have a, A child who I am supporting, right? And so, you know, if, if people are interested in me consulting with them or like supporting their work and wanting to come in and speak, I’m open to that. Reach out to me. You can email me at info@dcautismparents.org, or there’s a contact, um, link on the website. 

[00:34:42] Randi Rubenstein: Yetta Myrick. I’m just going to read it because she’s a badass. Um, Yetta Myrick is the mother of a young adult son diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and intellectual disability.

She’s the founder and president of DC Autism Parents, a 501 nonprofit organization in the District of Columbia. Miss Myrick has served as the Centers for Disease Control’s Act Early ambassador to the district of Columbia since 2016. She’s currently leading the DC Act Early team. 

In 2022, she coauthored and published Mr. Marshall’s Block Party. Miss is that, is that a children’s book?

[00:35:21] Yetta Myrick: is a children’s book. Yes. Yes.

[00:35:24] Randi Rubenstein: Um, Ms. Myrick leads the D. C. Autism Collaborative’s developmental monitoring, screening and evaluation subgroup, co leads the family advisory group, outreach and education subgroup, and the community resources and support subgroup. She serves as the parent educator and advocate on the ECHO Autism Hub team at Children’s National Hospital.

She co leads the Family Voices United to End Racism Against, I don’t know what this is, C Y S H C N. What does that stand for?

[00:35:55] Yetta Myrick: Children and youth with special health care needs. That’s why it’s the acronym.

[00:36:00] Randi Rubenstein: and families project. She served as the co investigator for the building capacity in the African American ASD community for patient centered outcomes research project funded through the patient centered outcomes Research Institute. Um, in 2021, she was appointed to the Inter agency Autism Coordinating committee by Secretary of Health and Human Services.

Um, she’s a member of the DC developmental disabilities council and was awarded the 2024 advocate and equity award by the DC Developmental Disability Awareness Month planning committee. She holds a bachelor of arts degree in communication studies from the Catholic University of America. 

And don’t you like do stuff at the White House? Like, did I hear that or is that top secret? 

[00:36:47] Yetta Myrick: So yeah, you’ve heard, you’ve heard stuff. It’s, it’s not top, it’s not top secret. Um, I’ve just, because of my advocacy work, I’ve been invited. Maybe it was last year I was invited to basically provide, testimony is not the right word, but basically provide some comments as it relates to health equity, um, in the autism community. Um, so I was invited to, to speak to folks there about that. Um, it

[00:37:13] Randi Rubenstein: I mean, as we wrap up, just to kind of close the loop, tell us what life looks like with your son now. 

[00:37:24] Yetta Myrick: So a, like I said, is, um, is 20, he’ll be 21. He still is going to school. He’ll graduate in June of 2026. So he is entering his, his lab, like he just entered his second to last school year. Um, um, Monday through Friday. So he’s back in school, even in the summer, his school program is 11 months. And so he is in a post high school program and he has to dress for success. So he wears his polo and his slacks and his, his work shoes. 

So he gets up and, um, gets himself together. I’m just kind of like hanging around, making sure that stuff’s happening, but like I’m giving him a wide berth. Um, right now, but like I mentioned earlier, like he packs his lunch only the night before, but then, you know, you had to put it in the bag. He packs his backpack, all of that. 

[00:38:16] Randi Rubenstein: Does he speak in full sentences?

[00:38:18] Yetta Myrick: He can, but if he can get away with and say, I eat, he will. Right. So sometimes my mom, my dad, we live in a multi generational home, it’ll be like I don’t understand. What are you saying? I need more words. And then he’ll like, give us more. Um, but in terms of like fluid conversation, like how you and I are like, that is too much for him, but he has really really, truly grown.

And I will say at his last IAP meeting, which was this past spring, what was wow. So he was so every three years. And here’s a note for families. You can do triennials. So basically get your child reevaluated every three years, like by law. Um, and so he had basically full battery done over because this will be like the last time before he transitions. 

And the speech and language pathologist from the school system had done an evaluation for him, like probably, I don’t know, like maybe two or three cycles back. And she just, was just like, oh, my gosh, like, to see how much he has grown, like, from the time she last evaluated him. I mean, of course, we had the COVID time, too, where nobody was really going to reevaluate and get we was just trying to get services. Right? 

So, yeah, there’s been a lot of, a great deal of growth in the past, um, couple of years that, you know, when I look back, I would have never. Like, I don’t, I don’t think when we, when our children are little, like we can have ideas about like what things are going to be, but like never in my wildest dreams, um, would we be here right now. 

[00:40:00] Randi Rubenstein: Do you feel like he’s going to live independently at some point, or do you feel like he’s probably going to continue living with you as long as 

[00:40:09] Yetta Myrick: As it stands right now, I think he’s going to need, he’s going to need to have support and live with us, um, live with me, but, um, I’m going to say never say never, but, um, he’s always going to need some type of support that I’ve like resigned myself to, and I’m okay with that. Right. Like, I think there’s nothing wrong with that.

And the reality is, I mean, we talk about this, like in our group, like we all need each other, like we co create together, right? Like no one is like independent doing anything. And I think that’s another mindset shift we need to make around like disability too. And also like, we live in a multi generational home, like,

[00:40:47] Randi Rubenstein: Mm hmm.

[00:40:48] Yetta Myrick: We’ve been in this world now, it’s like everything’s all about being independent, being able to do things, you know, by yourself, but like we can’t do it all alone. And so, um,

[00:40:59] Randi Rubenstein: Do you,

[00:41:00] Yetta Myrick: we’ll, we’ll see what happens.

[00:41:01] Randi Rubenstein: Well, I think the thing I’ve always taken from you is You’re, you know, you work hard, you advocate, he’s at the forefront of your mind. He enters into lots of your conversations and you’re a passionate mom. You, to me, tell me where I’m wrong on this. You love being a mom. You love being his mom. And you wouldn’t change him. 

[00:41:28] Yetta Myrick: I do. I, 

[00:41:29] Randi Rubenstein: You know, it doesn’t seem like you would, it’s like, this is my son. This, like, I don’t have to argue with reality. You know, this is my beautiful boy and I’m, you know, I’m, I’m his mom. And it seems like you celebrate all of him and what being his mom looks like.

[00:41:48] Yetta Myrick: A hundred percent, Randi. Like I say that my son is my why, right? Like I think it is no mistake and I’m going to take it back and bring my dad into the conversation. Um, my, and my aunt, my, my dad’s sister, only sister he had, he’s, he was the youngest or is the youngest of five, only one left, but my dad’s sister was 10 years older than her. And she, at the age of 18 was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. 

Um, and so I grew up around disability. I didn’t necessarily understand, like it was a normal part of my growing up. And so it’s so interesting for me now. And she was an advocate in her own right too. And it’s just like, and I think about her oftentimes when I’m doing this work with my dad, I remember him saying one day, he was like, we can ask why, but like, why not? Right. 

And like, sometimes I’ll come in and I’ll like say certain things that he’ll be like, Like basically like, thank God, like you’re his mother because like, like, there’s a reason why my son is my son. Because to your point, Randi, like, I don’t, yes, it’s all about him, but it’s so much bigger than him. It’s so much bigger than me. Right. 

And, you know, I really deeply believe that, you know, we all are human beings and we deserve. to be treated equally on this Earth. And, you know, that’s like the driving piece. I say that my son is not the challenge. It’s the systems that we have to navigate. It’s, it’s, it’s about changing people’s minds, right?

And understanding, you know, back in the day, like, like, again, my dad was like, yeah, when I was growing, nobody talked about autism. He was like, they would just lock people up. And like, that was like 40 years ago, 50 years ago, right? Like you, people can’t even like fathom that now, but that is what happened, right? And so it’s like, just because someone is different, someone learns differently, moves in the world differently, that does not mean that they do not have the right to be here as they are, you know? And so that’s really, truly, um, important to me.

[00:44:08] Randi Rubenstein: Well, I’m just looking up this movie because it makes me think about, I just watched this movie, um, on the plane, the story of Maria Montessori. It just came out. It’s, it’s actually a French movie with some subtitles. Um, and so it came at Maria Montessori, anyone who wants to see it, Maria Montessori, 2024. did you, do you know anything about the Montessori method?

[00:44:34] Yetta Myrick: I know very, I know very,

[00:44:36] Randi Rubenstein: Okay, 

[00:44:36] Yetta Myrick: know very little. I, well, let me just say this. What I do know is that it’s like child led, correct? Isn’t that, is that the right

[00:44:44] Randi Rubenstein: well, let me just tell you about the roots because, yeah, the roots, uh, without getting all, I’m not going to educate everyone on Montessori because I’m not the person to actually to do it. My kids went to a Montessori preschool, but I don’t, you know, I know a very limited amount about it, but this story, the roots of Montessori.

Um, it was, um, she was a physician, so she, it’s early 1900 and she, she’s a female physician and um, and I believe that, yeah, they live in, she’s, she’s in Italy. She’s a female physician with, which was a big deal. And she started working with the population of kids that. The culture, society called idiots and they were the, you know, kids with disabilities who would be typically locked away, institutionalized, and just left to basically not, you know, just sort of survive until they, you know, die. didn’t survive anymore. So society was just giving up on this population of people. And she developed the methods. The Montessori method was really developed for the, you know, people with Down syndrome on the spectrum, all kinds of different learning differences and disabilities, many of which were nonverbal.

But what she knew was she knew we’ve got to nurture them and we’ve got to work on, you know, their bodies on a nervous system level before we can get to the reading and the writing. 

But I think that something interesting about stories like the Montessori story is that this neurodiverse population, we, I think as a society, we make it mean something wrong about them, but there’s actually a lot to learn from this population.

And it ties back into you saying, we judge people based on their verbal skills. But the truth is, maybe we don’t need to use so many words all the time. Maybe this neurodiverse population is here to teach us, guess what? When you’re sending kids to school that, you know, even our, you know, neurotypical kids, if they are dysregulated in their nervous systems, right? And then you expect them to sit at a desk and to read and to write and to manage their behavior. Well, they’re not going to succeed because we first have to take care of the nervous system.

That’s, you know, all the sensory stuff is really, it’s like, how can we affect these kids from a nervous system level? Let’s regulate their nervous systems. And once the nervous system is regulated, well, then people can learn to read and write. We got to go, we got to, you know, we got to, you got to regulate from the neck down before we can start speaking directly to the brain and the head.

These are the takeaways I’m hoping that people hear from this conversation because I think these takeaways are so important, whether you have a neuro, neurodiverse kid, or if you have a neurotypical kid, I think there’s something to learn here for all the kids.

[00:48:15] Yetta Myrick: I appreciate that and agree. Um, Randi, and I just want to leave you with this. Um, one other thought, as you were talking about Montessori and like how there is so much to learn, like, let’s just talk about curb cuts that we have. The disability community, so this is even beyond autism, disability community advocated for curb cuts. Like curb cuts came around. My aunt was a wheelchair user and like, they did not have curb cuts at, at this time. Um, and so

[00:48:48] Randi Rubenstein: the little, the ramps on the, 

[00:48:50] Yetta Myrick: sixties, like literally when you are walking across the, street and it dips down, yes, there weren’t curb cuts. The curb cuts came because the disability community advocated for it. So again, what is being created for this community, what people are advocating for has, yes, a lasting impact, has an impact for everyone, right? So again, it’s like, let’s shift this mindset and not be thinking about disability as this negative thing or something that should be fetishized, right? Like fetish, I think I’m saying that word right.

You get what I’m saying. Like, that is not what this is. Like these folks, my son, human beings. Just like all of us, they’re just moving in the world differently. And how can we ensure that we are moving in the world where we are honoring that difference. 

[00:49:46] Randi Rubenstein: I love that. I love that. Okay. Obviously we could just talk and talk and talk and talk. Um, thank you. Thank you for sharing everything. I mean, I, I know that there are people listening to this conversation and they’re going to say, okay, I think I might have something happening that I need to figure out.

I’m going to go to Yetta’s website. I’m going to, I’m going to do, I’ll have what she’s having. Um, I think that there were some really valuable takeaways in this conversation that’s going to help people. So thank you for being here with me today.

[00:50:26] Yetta Myrick: Thank you for having me, Randi. I really appreciate it. And, um, just hang in there, folks. Right. One day at a time. You do know, like when you think you don’t know, you do know.

[00:50:38] Randi Rubenstein: Love it. Okay, everyone. Have a great week. Bye.

Thanks for listening today, guys. I hope you picked up some tips, tools, maybe some baby steps for creating more balance and boundaries in your life. And I just wanted to let you know, if you want to continue moving the needle forward in creating this for yourself, having a happier household, I want you to go to my website and check out mastermindparenting.com. We have three beginning programs, and if you need some accountability and more support then please look for the one that would be a good fit for you.

And, as always, we’re on all the social channels under Mastermind Parenting, on Instagram it’s mastermind_parenting. And, you know, periodically I do pop up on different Instagram lives, Facebook lives where I give you teaching and coaching and I love engaging with you live to help you help your strong-willed kids so that they can feel better, because when they feel better they do better, and I love, love, love getting to know you guys. 

So thanks for listening. If you like this podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review. Super, super appreciative.